This is a 40 second pilot written and directed by Les Mantock. It stars Richard Parr (Me) as Terry and Sukhdeep Nanua as Gavin. This is a test pilot for Les Mantock's 6 minute script called "Moral".
This also briefly shows my acting abilities aswells as Sukhdeep's. Sukhdeep and I have never acted before but we approached by our friend Les Mantock, he asked us for our help. Obviously we were happy to oblige and this is the outcome of a fun filled afternoon.
"I'm just trying to remember my second line"
"What....No!"
*Laughter*
Friday, March 21, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Reflection cont...
Make up
I have spent quite a lot of money on make up to make the scars and bruising look as realistic as possible. I also got Will Barton to do this for me as he has had a lot of on set make up experience and I felt that the finished product came out quite well. The makeup used was snazzaroo fake skin and a fake cuts and bruises set, professional sfx skin makeup, a syrup based fake blood (made for tv use) and a deep dark red fake blood.
Pre-Visualisation
Frameforge has not been working for the past 3 weeks now, as I am not experienced on frameforge that much, I decided to ask jools if I could make one based on my storyboard, he said it was fine. That has taken a lot of weight of my shoulders.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
40 Second Pilot
Must watch this video with heaphones for full effect.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57hUUJrzJkw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57hUUJrzJkw
Self reflection
Night Before the 1st shoot
I feel like this is going to be a good shoot, everything is organised. I have my storyboard/shot list sorted out to guide me through shoot. I have rung everyone to confirm times and meeting points. I’ve checked all of my equipment, that consisting of:
VX 2000
K6 Mic (FULL KIT)
Boom Pole
XLR Extension Cable
Headphones
Tripod
Lighting Kit
Gels
Reflectors
Carry case
They are all in good working order.
This should be smooth.
2 Hours after shoot
The shoot ran over by hour and a half. However results captured were very good. The stress of getting everything together left my mouth with a bitter after taste as I anticipated it to be a lot smoother. At first it started well but due to the late finish, everyone was feeling the time drag and performances from everyone (including me) started to die down. However, as a finale for the shoot, we filmed the shower scene (scene 2) and that was an amusing experience which lifted everyone right back up.
All in all, the shoot was a drag but a success at the end of it all.
Day 2 of shooting
Day 2, I must admit, it went extremely well (however, I did shout at my actors for not obeying orders, but that was quickly overcome), I was focused on what I wanted and when I wanted. We finished before scheduled and it lifted my spirits a lot more than the 1st day shooting. Actors pulled off good performances. I fell in love with film making again.
Capturing
I have captured my footage (and backed it up) today, I am very happy with scene 2 and all of the external scene especially. I can see how all of the shots will work in within the film!
Sound Capturing
I have had 2 solid days creating and searching for royalty free sounds and what I have found is amazing. I have created great sound effects and atmosphere tracks. I have also found some amazing sound effects for the heart monitor and sirens. It is all pulling together.
Edit of 40 Second Pilot
I finished editing the pilot today. I choose to base it on scene one. I feel scene one shows the dark and atmospheric style I am going for. I had to put 10 layers of sound on this pilot to create the anxious vibe I was going for. I believe it came out well. However, I do feel the screeching of the tires could be improved, so I will get another sound clip for that for the actual 6 minute film. I do feel that it is best watched with headphones on.
I feel like this is going to be a good shoot, everything is organised. I have my storyboard/shot list sorted out to guide me through shoot. I have rung everyone to confirm times and meeting points. I’ve checked all of my equipment, that consisting of:
VX 2000
K6 Mic (FULL KIT)
Boom Pole
XLR Extension Cable
Headphones
Tripod
Lighting Kit
Gels
Reflectors
Carry case
They are all in good working order.
This should be smooth.
2 Hours after shoot
The shoot ran over by hour and a half. However results captured were very good. The stress of getting everything together left my mouth with a bitter after taste as I anticipated it to be a lot smoother. At first it started well but due to the late finish, everyone was feeling the time drag and performances from everyone (including me) started to die down. However, as a finale for the shoot, we filmed the shower scene (scene 2) and that was an amusing experience which lifted everyone right back up.
All in all, the shoot was a drag but a success at the end of it all.
Day 2 of shooting
Day 2, I must admit, it went extremely well (however, I did shout at my actors for not obeying orders, but that was quickly overcome), I was focused on what I wanted and when I wanted. We finished before scheduled and it lifted my spirits a lot more than the 1st day shooting. Actors pulled off good performances. I fell in love with film making again.
Capturing
I have captured my footage (and backed it up) today, I am very happy with scene 2 and all of the external scene especially. I can see how all of the shots will work in within the film!
Sound Capturing
I have had 2 solid days creating and searching for royalty free sounds and what I have found is amazing. I have created great sound effects and atmosphere tracks. I have also found some amazing sound effects for the heart monitor and sirens. It is all pulling together.
Edit of 40 Second Pilot
I finished editing the pilot today. I choose to base it on scene one. I feel scene one shows the dark and atmospheric style I am going for. I had to put 10 layers of sound on this pilot to create the anxious vibe I was going for. I believe it came out well. However, I do feel the screeching of the tires could be improved, so I will get another sound clip for that for the actual 6 minute film. I do feel that it is best watched with headphones on.
Risk Assessment
RISK ASSESSMENT
Risk Assessment Task/ Location 22 Barnston Road
Person Conducting the Risk Assessment Richard Parr Position Director Date 13/02/08 Signature
Supervisor of the Area Richard Parr Position Director Date 19/02/08 Signature
Notes:
Hazard Identification Risk Assessment Risk Control
Review
No. What harm can happen to people or equipment Risk
Score* List any Control Measures already implemented Describe what can be done to reduce the harm Whom
Responsible When By Are the Controls
Effective? Date Finalised
1 Equipment could be knocked over by crew or cast. M Brief to both to crew and cast. Tape down all wires and make sure no one goes near equipment unless needed. Richard Parr 19/02/08 Y 21/02/08
2 Equipment could get wet L Discussion with Crew and cast to prevent them using the equipment under or near water Equipment is kept well away from the water and water proof barriers Richard Parr 19/02/08 Y 21/02/08
3 Cast and crew could slip on water M Brief to both to crew and cast. Rubber mats on the floor and caution signs Richard Parr 19/02/08 Y 21/02/08
4 Equipment could be stolen whilst filming. L Extra crew to secure the equipment Be vigilant and never leave equipment un attended Richard Parr 19/02/08 Y 21/02/08
5 Lighting could be knocked over and break or burn people/items H Brief to both to crew and cast. Wear gloves whilst using lighting, have only select personnel in the area. Richard Parr 19/02/08 Y 24/02/08
6 A car crash could take place whilst filming. M Brief to both to crew and cast. Ensure the driver isn’t intoxicated and fit to drive and drive in secluded areas. Richard Parr 19/02/08 Y 21/02/08
Risk Assessment Task/ Location 22 Barnston Road
Person Conducting the Risk Assessment Richard Parr Position Director Date 13/02/08 Signature
Supervisor of the Area Richard Parr Position Director Date 19/02/08 Signature
Notes:
Hazard Identification Risk Assessment Risk Control
Review
No. What harm can happen to people or equipment Risk
Score* List any Control Measures already implemented Describe what can be done to reduce the harm Whom
Responsible When By Are the Controls
Effective? Date Finalised
1 Equipment could be knocked over by crew or cast. M Brief to both to crew and cast. Tape down all wires and make sure no one goes near equipment unless needed. Richard Parr 19/02/08 Y 21/02/08
2 Equipment could get wet L Discussion with Crew and cast to prevent them using the equipment under or near water Equipment is kept well away from the water and water proof barriers Richard Parr 19/02/08 Y 21/02/08
3 Cast and crew could slip on water M Brief to both to crew and cast. Rubber mats on the floor and caution signs Richard Parr 19/02/08 Y 21/02/08
4 Equipment could be stolen whilst filming. L Extra crew to secure the equipment Be vigilant and never leave equipment un attended Richard Parr 19/02/08 Y 21/02/08
5 Lighting could be knocked over and break or burn people/items H Brief to both to crew and cast. Wear gloves whilst using lighting, have only select personnel in the area. Richard Parr 19/02/08 Y 24/02/08
6 A car crash could take place whilst filming. M Brief to both to crew and cast. Ensure the driver isn’t intoxicated and fit to drive and drive in secluded areas. Richard Parr 19/02/08 Y 21/02/08
Research
Research
Script Research
Writing a script seemed quite exciting for me, so I wanted my script to look professional, but I wasn’t sure on how a script should look like. So I decided to find some professional scripts to base my style on. I found www.imsdb.com to be very helpful to give me an insight on how scripts should look like.
Therefore, I set out to find out how to format my script correctly. www.scriptologist.com/Magazine/Formatting/formatting.html was a good site to see the process of the script formatting, but I found a piece of software called celtx, this software was free and easy to use. Which helped me create a professional looking script.
www.celtx.com
Casting Research
I feel that casting will be a hard task so I have decided to do some research on where I can get actors. After being referred by Jools to look at www.starnow.co.uk , it made me aware on how you can pay actors, those being no payment, expenses paid or a wage. I was intrigued by being able get actors through websites. I found that www.talenttext.com and www.acting.net were really decent also.
However, I thought I would research on local groups of actors which might be useful. I found a group at the ICC, which is a part of the YMCA. I have contacted this group and they sound promising. http://www.ymca.org.uk/pooled/profiles/BF_COMP/view.asp?Q=BF_COMP_20212
Also, I have visited the arts theatre in Hockley, they have a lot of youth groups, varying from 8 to 18, which will be probably useful in the future.
http://www.artstheatre.org.uk/
Moreover, I have researched on acting contracts and by reading quite a few stories, I have noticed that a lot of the time, actors pull out for many reasons. So I believe it is sensible to put forward a contract very early on in the stages, so your actors can’t drop out.
Script Research
Writing a script seemed quite exciting for me, so I wanted my script to look professional, but I wasn’t sure on how a script should look like. So I decided to find some professional scripts to base my style on. I found www.imsdb.com to be very helpful to give me an insight on how scripts should look like.
Therefore, I set out to find out how to format my script correctly. www.scriptologist.com/Magazine/Formatting/formatting.html was a good site to see the process of the script formatting, but I found a piece of software called celtx, this software was free and easy to use. Which helped me create a professional looking script.
www.celtx.com
Casting Research
I feel that casting will be a hard task so I have decided to do some research on where I can get actors. After being referred by Jools to look at www.starnow.co.uk , it made me aware on how you can pay actors, those being no payment, expenses paid or a wage. I was intrigued by being able get actors through websites. I found that www.talenttext.com and www.acting.net were really decent also.
However, I thought I would research on local groups of actors which might be useful. I found a group at the ICC, which is a part of the YMCA. I have contacted this group and they sound promising. http://www.ymca.org.uk/pooled/profiles/BF_COMP/view.asp?Q=BF_COMP_20212
Also, I have visited the arts theatre in Hockley, they have a lot of youth groups, varying from 8 to 18, which will be probably useful in the future.
http://www.artstheatre.org.uk/
Moreover, I have researched on acting contracts and by reading quite a few stories, I have noticed that a lot of the time, actors pull out for many reasons. So I believe it is sensible to put forward a contract very early on in the stages, so your actors can’t drop out.
Premise and Treatment
Premise
Will wakes up to the harsh reality of losing some one close to him.
Cut up inside, he decides to visit their grave.
Will has a guilt ridden conversation with his best friend Robert before leaving to buy flowers and discovering the real truth on what really happened on that devastating night out.
This story is about the journey of sub conscious beliefs which are thrown out of window when Will finds out who really died that night.
Treatment
Will is lying in bed asleep. As time passes Will begins to squirm, as if he is having a nightmare, however this nightmare is cut short as the alarm blares a siren and screech of tires and an alarm sound. Will wakes in a fright, he is panting and sweaty. Will gathers his nerves and turns off the alarm clock. Will reaches for the light pull above his head and then cowers away from the sudden shock of light. Will then composes his self and reaches for his glasses, whilst doing so the photo of him and his girlfriend Hollie catches his eye. He picks up the photo frame and stares at it for awhile whilst caressing Hollie’s face, Will starts to feel slightly awkward and throws the photo down back on the bedside table. Will then turns the television off, gets out of bed, collects a towel, dressing gown and saunters out of the room.
Will walks into the running shower naked, he grabs some shampoo and starts to frantically washing his hair, the suds gradually multiply until Will shouts out in pain. The pain is coming from his right hand, so Will washes the suds away to reveal a heavily cut hand bleeding. Will is slumps against the shower tiles with a blank look on his face. He gradually pulls himself up, turns off the shower and walks out of the room.
Will enters his bedroom again with his dressing gown and towel wrapped round him. He drops both of them to the floor and pulls up his boxers. Will then starts getting dressed into a black suit, starting with his shirt then to his trousers, belt, tie and finally jacket. He crouches down to look in the mirror to adjust his tie. He stares at himself, disgusted with his own face he drops his head and walks out of the room.
Will walks down his stairs and finds three letters at the bottom of the stairs, he picks them up and reads who they are delivered to. The letters are for Robert Gamble, who is Will’s flat mate. Will continues to the dining room and finds Robert eating cereal. Will puts the letters down on the table, next to Robert’s cereal. Robert asks if they are for him and Will replies with a grunt. Robert is puzzled and asks Will why is he being weird and why he is wearing a suit. Will looks back in disgust as he expects Robert to already know. Robert swiftly realises and apologises. There conversation continues and a lead to Will expressing his guilty feelings about a crash which took place, stating that it was his fault. Robert immediately counter attacks this by saying it wasn’t his fault, it just happened and Will couldn’t of seen it happening. He also tells him that he doesn’t blame him and he assures that his girlfriend Hollie doesn’t blame him also. They both look at the photo of Hollie, Robert and Will on the table. Will asks Robert if he is sure that he doesn’t blame him and Robert reassures him again. Robert then tells Will that he was sorry he couldn’t come today. His reason being that he has to do some work upstairs. Robert leaves the table and taps Will on the shoulder whilst passing him to leave the room.
Will walks down the pavement, he arrives at florists. He spends a short while deciding on what flowers he is going to purchase. He picks a bunch flowers and enters florists, he purchases the flowers, gets them wrapped and then exits the florists. He saunters down the road.
Will is his mum’s car travelling to the graveyard. We hear his thoughts. We hear the crash and police sirens. We also hear the panic of Will and screams from Hollie and Robert. After awhile the car stops and Will’s mum tells Will that they were at graveyard, so Will exits the car.
Will, walks to the grave, he lays down his flowers and kneels down, we continue to hear his thoughts. His thoughts consist of ambulance noise and a doctor trying to save a patient. The doctor’s efforts are useless and the patient dies. The doctor declares Robert Gamble’s death. Will looks at his left to find Hollie touching his shoulder. Will then looks at the gravestone. We then see flash backs of earlier scenes, with the photo of the three, Robert disappears. The letters disappear. Robert at the dining table disappears. We then see Will and Hollie staring at the grave. There is a sudden screech of tires and we see Will waking up again.
Will wakes up to the harsh reality of losing some one close to him.
Cut up inside, he decides to visit their grave.
Will has a guilt ridden conversation with his best friend Robert before leaving to buy flowers and discovering the real truth on what really happened on that devastating night out.
This story is about the journey of sub conscious beliefs which are thrown out of window when Will finds out who really died that night.
Treatment
Will is lying in bed asleep. As time passes Will begins to squirm, as if he is having a nightmare, however this nightmare is cut short as the alarm blares a siren and screech of tires and an alarm sound. Will wakes in a fright, he is panting and sweaty. Will gathers his nerves and turns off the alarm clock. Will reaches for the light pull above his head and then cowers away from the sudden shock of light. Will then composes his self and reaches for his glasses, whilst doing so the photo of him and his girlfriend Hollie catches his eye. He picks up the photo frame and stares at it for awhile whilst caressing Hollie’s face, Will starts to feel slightly awkward and throws the photo down back on the bedside table. Will then turns the television off, gets out of bed, collects a towel, dressing gown and saunters out of the room.
Will walks into the running shower naked, he grabs some shampoo and starts to frantically washing his hair, the suds gradually multiply until Will shouts out in pain. The pain is coming from his right hand, so Will washes the suds away to reveal a heavily cut hand bleeding. Will is slumps against the shower tiles with a blank look on his face. He gradually pulls himself up, turns off the shower and walks out of the room.
Will enters his bedroom again with his dressing gown and towel wrapped round him. He drops both of them to the floor and pulls up his boxers. Will then starts getting dressed into a black suit, starting with his shirt then to his trousers, belt, tie and finally jacket. He crouches down to look in the mirror to adjust his tie. He stares at himself, disgusted with his own face he drops his head and walks out of the room.
Will walks down his stairs and finds three letters at the bottom of the stairs, he picks them up and reads who they are delivered to. The letters are for Robert Gamble, who is Will’s flat mate. Will continues to the dining room and finds Robert eating cereal. Will puts the letters down on the table, next to Robert’s cereal. Robert asks if they are for him and Will replies with a grunt. Robert is puzzled and asks Will why is he being weird and why he is wearing a suit. Will looks back in disgust as he expects Robert to already know. Robert swiftly realises and apologises. There conversation continues and a lead to Will expressing his guilty feelings about a crash which took place, stating that it was his fault. Robert immediately counter attacks this by saying it wasn’t his fault, it just happened and Will couldn’t of seen it happening. He also tells him that he doesn’t blame him and he assures that his girlfriend Hollie doesn’t blame him also. They both look at the photo of Hollie, Robert and Will on the table. Will asks Robert if he is sure that he doesn’t blame him and Robert reassures him again. Robert then tells Will that he was sorry he couldn’t come today. His reason being that he has to do some work upstairs. Robert leaves the table and taps Will on the shoulder whilst passing him to leave the room.
Will walks down the pavement, he arrives at florists. He spends a short while deciding on what flowers he is going to purchase. He picks a bunch flowers and enters florists, he purchases the flowers, gets them wrapped and then exits the florists. He saunters down the road.
Will is his mum’s car travelling to the graveyard. We hear his thoughts. We hear the crash and police sirens. We also hear the panic of Will and screams from Hollie and Robert. After awhile the car stops and Will’s mum tells Will that they were at graveyard, so Will exits the car.
Will, walks to the grave, he lays down his flowers and kneels down, we continue to hear his thoughts. His thoughts consist of ambulance noise and a doctor trying to save a patient. The doctor’s efforts are useless and the patient dies. The doctor declares Robert Gamble’s death. Will looks at his left to find Hollie touching his shoulder. Will then looks at the gravestone. We then see flash backs of earlier scenes, with the photo of the three, Robert disappears. The letters disappear. Robert at the dining table disappears. We then see Will and Hollie staring at the grave. There is a sudden screech of tires and we see Will waking up again.
Schedule (In word)
Schedule
Think of Idea – 24 hours
Produce Script – 24 hours
Get script feedback – 24 hours
Research on similar films – 4 hours
Shot list – 6 hours
Design (Set design) - 6 hours
Get locations – 24 hours
Pre production material:
Recce sheet – 4 hours
Call sheet – 5 hours
Storyboard – 24 hours
Frame forge -
Planning sheet and excel – 8 hours
Journal and self reflection – (Over whole period)
Get actors – 168 hours
Get Crew – 168 hours
Brief actors – 2 hours
Brief Crew – 2 hours
Book equipment – 1 hour
Organise shots, where and when – 3 hours
Lighting – 24 hours
Filming – 96 hours
Sound – 96 hours
Capture film 2 hours
Edit 40 sec pilot – 6 hours
Edit 6 minute film – 6 hours
Author DVD includes: - 168 hours
6 min film
Interactive Trailer
An advert
An advert formatted for mobile (MPEG 4)
An advert for web
Press Release
Character Biography
Film credits
Production Photos
Notes for director and independent study work
Back up of online journal
Back up a copy of the final film on CD/DVD (720x576 DVAVI, 25fps non compressed)
Think of Idea – 24 hours
Produce Script – 24 hours
Get script feedback – 24 hours
Research on similar films – 4 hours
Shot list – 6 hours
Design (Set design) - 6 hours
Get locations – 24 hours
Pre production material:
Recce sheet – 4 hours
Call sheet – 5 hours
Storyboard – 24 hours
Frame forge -
Planning sheet and excel – 8 hours
Journal and self reflection – (Over whole period)
Get actors – 168 hours
Get Crew – 168 hours
Brief actors – 2 hours
Brief Crew – 2 hours
Book equipment – 1 hour
Organise shots, where and when – 3 hours
Lighting – 24 hours
Filming – 96 hours
Sound – 96 hours
Capture film 2 hours
Edit 40 sec pilot – 6 hours
Edit 6 minute film – 6 hours
Author DVD includes: - 168 hours
6 min film
Interactive Trailer
An advert
An advert formatted for mobile (MPEG 4)
An advert for web
Press Release
Character Biography
Film credits
Production Photos
Notes for director and independent study work
Back up of online journal
Back up a copy of the final film on CD/DVD (720x576 DVAVI, 25fps non compressed)
Chracter Profiles
Character Profiles
William King
Age: 18 to 20
Gender: Male
Ethnicity: Caucasian, British
About:
Will is a university student who is studying law. His parents split up whilst he was quite young. As a result of this he was neglected by both parents because they were too interested on finding other partners and going out clubbing. This results into Will becoming very reserved through secondary school and was bullied quite a lot, which damaged his self esteem and he became is quite shy. However, since he has started university he has started coming out of his shell. He has made a few good friends, one being Robert Gamble, who is Will’s best friend. Will looks up to Robert, he trusts Robert with his life and would do anything for him. Robert introduced Will to Hollie. After a long time Will plucked up the courage ask Hollie out.
So with Will’s new found happiness, his confidence is seeming to rise. However due to the fatal accident, he loses Hollie as a girlfriend and Robert as a friend. This plunges Will into manic depression and is searching for a way to deal with this tragic tale of events.
Robert Gamble
Age: 18 to 20
Gender: Male
Ethnicity: Caucasian/British
About:
Robert has come from affluent background and his parents have always been there to support him. Robert is a popular kind of guy, he seems to get all the girls, perform excellently at sports and is straight A student with minimal work. He has never belittled people with his natural abilities and has always made time for people who might need a helping hand. Robert met Will on his law course, he noticed he was a bright guy who had a dry sense of humour. He was teamed up by his tutor with Will to research British politics from 1832 to 1911. Whilst working together for awhile, they became good friends and Robert introduced Will to party life.
William King
Age: 18 to 20
Gender: Male
Ethnicity: Caucasian, British
About:
Will is a university student who is studying law. His parents split up whilst he was quite young. As a result of this he was neglected by both parents because they were too interested on finding other partners and going out clubbing. This results into Will becoming very reserved through secondary school and was bullied quite a lot, which damaged his self esteem and he became is quite shy. However, since he has started university he has started coming out of his shell. He has made a few good friends, one being Robert Gamble, who is Will’s best friend. Will looks up to Robert, he trusts Robert with his life and would do anything for him. Robert introduced Will to Hollie. After a long time Will plucked up the courage ask Hollie out.
So with Will’s new found happiness, his confidence is seeming to rise. However due to the fatal accident, he loses Hollie as a girlfriend and Robert as a friend. This plunges Will into manic depression and is searching for a way to deal with this tragic tale of events.
Robert Gamble
Age: 18 to 20
Gender: Male
Ethnicity: Caucasian/British
About:
Robert has come from affluent background and his parents have always been there to support him. Robert is a popular kind of guy, he seems to get all the girls, perform excellently at sports and is straight A student with minimal work. He has never belittled people with his natural abilities and has always made time for people who might need a helping hand. Robert met Will on his law course, he noticed he was a bright guy who had a dry sense of humour. He was teamed up by his tutor with Will to research British politics from 1832 to 1911. Whilst working together for awhile, they became good friends and Robert introduced Will to party life.
Friday, March 07, 2008
Sound list
Sound List
Scene 1
Atmosphere track
White noise (of television)
Alarm clock
Screeching tires
Car crash
Gasp
Scene 2
Atmosphere track
Shower
Broken glass
Female scream
Scene 3
Atmosphere track
Sigh
Scene 4
Atmosphere track
Letter box
Dialogue
Cereal Bowl
Stomps on the stairs
Door slam
Music blaring (Morrisey – You have killed me)
Scene 5
Atmosphere track
Scene 6
Atmosphere track
Car sounds
David saying its “not your fault”
The group talking about where to go out, result is to the local pub/club.
Driving fast round streets fast and the group enjoying themselves
Group panic and start shouting watch out
Screeching crash
David shouting
Hollie shouting
Will panicking and saying “I’m sorry, I’ll get help, I’m sorry”
Heavy panting
Ringing sounds
999 call
Breathalyser test results
Sirens
Dialogue
Door open
Door slam
Scene 7
Atmosphere track
Hospital doors
Doctor saying “Unknown personnel, suffered server crushing blows to the cranium and sternum... They’ve stop breathing! We need to get them into theatre now!
Frantic hospital sounds
Heart beat
Heart beat machine sustain one tone
Doctor declaring death “David Shale, time of death 11:47”
Dialogue
Doctor speaking to Hollie and Will “I’m sorry, we did all that we could, He’s gone.”
Hollie screaming
Will, “no, it can’t be, please tell me your joking, please ,please, Plea..eas..weep”
Screeching tires
Crash
Panting
Scene 1
Atmosphere track
White noise (of television)
Alarm clock
Screeching tires
Car crash
Gasp
Scene 2
Atmosphere track
Shower
Broken glass
Female scream
Scene 3
Atmosphere track
Sigh
Scene 4
Atmosphere track
Letter box
Dialogue
Cereal Bowl
Stomps on the stairs
Door slam
Music blaring (Morrisey – You have killed me)
Scene 5
Atmosphere track
Scene 6
Atmosphere track
Car sounds
David saying its “not your fault”
The group talking about where to go out, result is to the local pub/club.
Driving fast round streets fast and the group enjoying themselves
Group panic and start shouting watch out
Screeching crash
David shouting
Hollie shouting
Will panicking and saying “I’m sorry, I’ll get help, I’m sorry”
Heavy panting
Ringing sounds
999 call
Breathalyser test results
Sirens
Dialogue
Door open
Door slam
Scene 7
Atmosphere track
Hospital doors
Doctor saying “Unknown personnel, suffered server crushing blows to the cranium and sternum... They’ve stop breathing! We need to get them into theatre now!
Frantic hospital sounds
Heart beat
Heart beat machine sustain one tone
Doctor declaring death “David Shale, time of death 11:47”
Dialogue
Doctor speaking to Hollie and Will “I’m sorry, we did all that we could, He’s gone.”
Hollie screaming
Will, “no, it can’t be, please tell me your joking, please ,please, Plea..eas..weep”
Screeching tires
Crash
Panting
Prop List
Prop List
Scene One
Alarm Clock
Photo of Will and Hollie together
Photo frame
Towel
Scene 2
Swimming shorts
Shampoo
Fake blood
Fake cuts
Bandages
Bruising make up
Scene 3
Black suit
White shirt
Black tie
Mirror
Scene 4
4 envelopes/letters with David’s name on.
Bowl of cereal
Photo of Will, David and Hollie having a good time
Photo frame
Black suit
Scene 5
A bunch of flowers
Black suit
Scene 6
A bunch of flowers (same from scene 5)
Car
Black suit
Scene 7
Grave stone
A bunch of flowers (same from scene 5)
Black female clothes
Black suit
Scene One
Alarm Clock
Photo of Will and Hollie together
Photo frame
Towel
Scene 2
Swimming shorts
Shampoo
Fake blood
Fake cuts
Bandages
Bruising make up
Scene 3
Black suit
White shirt
Black tie
Mirror
Scene 4
4 envelopes/letters with David’s name on.
Bowl of cereal
Photo of Will, David and Hollie having a good time
Photo frame
Black suit
Scene 5
A bunch of flowers
Black suit
Scene 6
A bunch of flowers (same from scene 5)
Car
Black suit
Scene 7
Grave stone
A bunch of flowers (same from scene 5)
Black female clothes
Black suit
Crew
My crew has been finalised as:
Richard Parr - Director
Richard Parr - Camera
Richard Parr - Editing
Sukhdeep Nanua - Sound
William Barton - Make up artist
Producer - Richard Parr
Dramatic Director - Hollie Starbuck
Richard Parr - Director
Richard Parr - Camera
Richard Parr - Editing
Sukhdeep Nanua - Sound
William Barton - Make up artist
Producer - Richard Parr
Dramatic Director - Hollie Starbuck
Call sheet for both days
I’ve got to go upstairs and do some work
Date: Tuesday, 19-02-08
Producer: Richard Parr
Call Time
12:00 PM
(Unless otherwise noted) Shoot Day: 1 Of 2
Exec. Producers: Richard Parr Rehearse: 12:00P Shoot: 12:30 P
Assoc. Producer: Richard Parr Sunrise: 7:19A Sunset: 17:18 P
Writer: Richard Parr Weather: Sunny and mild.
Temp: 6 Celsius
Director: Richard Parr
Set and Description Scene Cast D/N Pgs Location
Kings Street
22 Barnston Road
Ford Fiesta
22 Barnston Road
Ext: Florist 5 Tom 3
Int. Dining Room 4 Tom and Will 2/3
Int. Car 6 Tom and Sue
4
Int. Shower 2 Tom 1
Notes: Make sure Tom’s hair is dry and cuts look the same in every shot.
I’ve got to go upstairs and do some work
Date: Saturday, 23-02-08
Producer: Richard Parr
Call Time
10:00 PM
(Unless otherwise noted) Shoot Day: 1 Of 2
Exec. Producers: Richard Parr Rehearse: 10:00P Shoot: 11:30 P
Assoc. Producer: Richard Parr Sunrise: 7:32A Sunset: 17:47 P
Writer: Richard Parr Weather: Sunny and mild.
Temp: 6 Celsius
Director: Richard Parr
Set and Description Scene Cast D/N Pgs Location
Graveyard
37 Bramble Lane
37 Bramble Lane
Ext: Graveyard 7 Tom and Hollie 4/5
Int. Bedroom 1 Tom 1
Int. Bedroom 3 Tom
1
Notes: Make sure Tom’s hair is dry and cuts look the same in every shot.
Date: Tuesday, 19-02-08
Producer: Richard Parr
Call Time
12:00 PM
(Unless otherwise noted) Shoot Day: 1 Of 2
Exec. Producers: Richard Parr Rehearse: 12:00P Shoot: 12:30 P
Assoc. Producer: Richard Parr Sunrise: 7:19A Sunset: 17:18 P
Writer: Richard Parr Weather: Sunny and mild.
Temp: 6 Celsius
Director: Richard Parr
Set and Description Scene Cast D/N Pgs Location
Kings Street
22 Barnston Road
Ford Fiesta
22 Barnston Road
Ext: Florist 5 Tom 3
Int. Dining Room 4 Tom and Will 2/3
Int. Car 6 Tom and Sue
4
Int. Shower 2 Tom 1
Notes: Make sure Tom’s hair is dry and cuts look the same in every shot.
I’ve got to go upstairs and do some work
Date: Saturday, 23-02-08
Producer: Richard Parr
Call Time
10:00 PM
(Unless otherwise noted) Shoot Day: 1 Of 2
Exec. Producers: Richard Parr Rehearse: 10:00P Shoot: 11:30 P
Assoc. Producer: Richard Parr Sunrise: 7:32A Sunset: 17:47 P
Writer: Richard Parr Weather: Sunny and mild.
Temp: 6 Celsius
Director: Richard Parr
Set and Description Scene Cast D/N Pgs Location
Graveyard
37 Bramble Lane
37 Bramble Lane
Ext: Graveyard 7 Tom and Hollie 4/5
Int. Bedroom 1 Tom 1
Int. Bedroom 3 Tom
1
Notes: Make sure Tom’s hair is dry and cuts look the same in every shot.
Actor problems
Its a week before the shoot and my two male actors have dropped out just before signing a contract, they have explained that they both have coursework due in soon and haven't got any spare time, so as a last result I have asked William Barton and Thomas Robinson to take there places. I know they can both act well, so it shouldn't be a massive loss. The other two actors needed (Hollie and the Parent) have been found and a contract has been signed.
So not disastrous, just a massive inconvenience!
So not disastrous, just a massive inconvenience!
I have finally found actors
I've found two male actors through the ICC in Nottingham, they both seem quite professional and they can act. I met them in the square and got them both to do scene 4, they did it brilliantly. So hopefully they won't drop out!!!!
Draft 5
I’ve got to go upstairs and do some work
All rights of this script
belong to Richard Parr.
Tel: *********** (Blanked out for personnel reasons)
Email: gooberparr@hotmail.co.uk
1. INT. WILL’S BEDROOM - MORNING
Will is tucked up in bed; the only light source is the
scrambling of the television.
Will lies there for a while, and then he begins to squirm lightly, as if he feeling
anxious, this continues until there is a blast of noise from
Will’s bedside table alarm clock (striking 6:00 am) and
sounds of tires screeching.
This sound immediately makes Will sit up in bed violently, panicked and sweaty, with his eyes wide open.
He looks at the time and turns off the alarm clock, but
whilst doing so he stares at a photo of Him and his
girlfriend Hollie and begins to hold his head in his left
hand whilst slightly stroking the photo with the right,
after a short while he drags himself away from the photo and
out of bed. He turns the television off, turns a light on
and draws the curtains to discover that the sky is still
dark. Will turns away from the curtains and collects a towel
off the floor and walks out of the room.
CUT TO
2. INT. SHOWER - MORNING
Will is washing his hair frantically, in the process he has
a sharp pain in his hand and instinctively washes the soap
suds away to reveal that it is bleeding.
As he finds the cut hand he looks at his arms which are cut and bruised. His
face throughout all this is blank and motionless.
He hears a distant female scream, his blank face starts to frown whilst
his head starts to dip, he stays in this position. Will then
gradually turns the shower off, stands there with a blank
face again, and then gets out of the shower.
CUT TO
3. INT. WILL’S BEDROOM - MORNING
Will walks into the room and starts to get dressed. Will
drops his towel and starts to get dressed into a suit. He
then looks in the mirror to correct his tie, he lifts his
head to see his face, Will sighs and dips his head back
down.
CUT TO
4. INT. STAIRS AND DINING ROOM
Will walks down stairs, and as he reaches the bottom, the
post is delivered, so he picks up the letters and ruffles
through them. They are all addressed to "Robert Gamble". He
continues to walk through into the dining room where his
friend David sits eating cereal.
ROBERT
“Are those for me?”
WILL
(Reluctantly)
"Yea..."
ROBERT
“Hey, why the attitude? And the
suit?”
Will looks back in disgust and surprise.
Robert realizes the occasion and his face drops into a
sympathetic expression.
ROBERT
“Oh... I’m sorry, it hasn’t hit me
yet. I wake up sometimes believing
it hasn’t happened.”
WILL
“I’m glad you can get sleep because
I think I’ve only had about 4 hours
sleep since..."
ROBERT
“I know... well you know me, I have
quite a lot of sleep, more than I
want sometimes"
Will looks back with yet again another look of disgust.
ROBERT
“Look, I’m sorry, I’m just trying
to keep my head together and get on
with it.”
WILL
“Yea, but that isn’t easy for me, I
caused it! It was my fault.”
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 3.
ROBERT
“Look it wasn’t your fault! You
didn’t mean for it to happen, it
just did! I don’t blame you!
(Whilst gesturing towards a framed
photo) And I’m sure Hollie doesn’t
blame you either.”)
Will’s face drops as he looks towards the photo.
They both look at the photo, which is simply Will, Robert
and Hollie having a good time.
Will’s head dips again
WILL
“Are you sure you don’t blame me?”
ROBERT
“Of course I don’t, you couldn’t
have known it was going to happen.
It just happened! That’s life...”
Will (still with his head down begins to nod)
ROBERT
“Well... Look Will, I’m sorry I
can’t come today, I’ve got to go
upstairs and do some work, you know
how it is, don’t you?”
WILL
“Yea, I know”
Robert finishes off his cereal and then walks to the
doorway, taps Will on the shoulder and walks out the room.
Leaving him on his own feeling sorry for himself whilst
hearing the stomps of Robert going upstairs.
CUT TO
5. EXT - OUTSIDE A FLORIST
We see Will from across the road, exiting a florist with a
bunch of flowers in hand and sauntering up the road.
CUT TO
6. INT - BACKSEAT OF A CAR
Will is inside the backseat of a car, being driven somewhere
by one of his parents. He looks at the bunch of flowers and
smells them. He continues with this miserable blank look and
we hear his thoughts, his thoughts consist of David saying
"its not your fault", then a general banter between him and
his friends talking about going out, then driving around
streets fast (Robert and Hollie), then a screeching crash,
screams, Hollie screaming, Robert shouting and Will saying
"I’m sorry, let me get help, I’m sorry", A policeman
declaring breathalyser test, ambulance sirens and as the
sirens become too much, the car stops.
WILL’S PARENT
"WILL! It’s time to go, we are
here"
WILL
"Sorry...”
Will clambers out of the car and walks away.
CUT TO
7. EXT - GRAVEYARD
Will walks towards the graveyard and the sounds of his
thoughts continues with hospital sounds and Hollie screaming
"It’s all your fault you bastard, I hate you". Will
continues to feel more uncomfortable. Will’s thoughts become
more frantic, as it continues to the sounds of a hospital
machine bleeping and people screaming. Will gets to the
grave and starts to weep!
WILL
"I’m Sorry, I’m Sorry! I’m SORRY!"
As Will’s weeps, a hand touches his shoulder (then the sound
of the hospital machine starts to sustain one tone, a heart
has stopped beating).
Will looks up to find Hollie dressed in all black, she
tries to console him.
Will looks at the grave, revealing it to say "Here lies
Robert Gamble", we hear a doctor declaring Robert Gamble’s
death.
We then see flash backs from the film like the conversation
with Robert fades into him not being there, the photo of the
three friends having a good time disappearing, the letters
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 5.
with Robert Gamble’s name on disappear.
Then we hear the screeching tyres and the alarm. We come
back to scene 1 where Will wakes up in a sweat.
FADE TO BLACK
END
All rights of this script
belong to Richard Parr.
Tel: *********** (Blanked out for personnel reasons)
Email: gooberparr@hotmail.co.uk
1. INT. WILL’S BEDROOM - MORNING
Will is tucked up in bed; the only light source is the
scrambling of the television.
Will lies there for a while, and then he begins to squirm lightly, as if he feeling
anxious, this continues until there is a blast of noise from
Will’s bedside table alarm clock (striking 6:00 am) and
sounds of tires screeching.
This sound immediately makes Will sit up in bed violently, panicked and sweaty, with his eyes wide open.
He looks at the time and turns off the alarm clock, but
whilst doing so he stares at a photo of Him and his
girlfriend Hollie and begins to hold his head in his left
hand whilst slightly stroking the photo with the right,
after a short while he drags himself away from the photo and
out of bed. He turns the television off, turns a light on
and draws the curtains to discover that the sky is still
dark. Will turns away from the curtains and collects a towel
off the floor and walks out of the room.
CUT TO
2. INT. SHOWER - MORNING
Will is washing his hair frantically, in the process he has
a sharp pain in his hand and instinctively washes the soap
suds away to reveal that it is bleeding.
As he finds the cut hand he looks at his arms which are cut and bruised. His
face throughout all this is blank and motionless.
He hears a distant female scream, his blank face starts to frown whilst
his head starts to dip, he stays in this position. Will then
gradually turns the shower off, stands there with a blank
face again, and then gets out of the shower.
CUT TO
3. INT. WILL’S BEDROOM - MORNING
Will walks into the room and starts to get dressed. Will
drops his towel and starts to get dressed into a suit. He
then looks in the mirror to correct his tie, he lifts his
head to see his face, Will sighs and dips his head back
down.
CUT TO
4. INT. STAIRS AND DINING ROOM
Will walks down stairs, and as he reaches the bottom, the
post is delivered, so he picks up the letters and ruffles
through them. They are all addressed to "Robert Gamble". He
continues to walk through into the dining room where his
friend David sits eating cereal.
ROBERT
“Are those for me?”
WILL
(Reluctantly)
"Yea..."
ROBERT
“Hey, why the attitude? And the
suit?”
Will looks back in disgust and surprise.
Robert realizes the occasion and his face drops into a
sympathetic expression.
ROBERT
“Oh... I’m sorry, it hasn’t hit me
yet. I wake up sometimes believing
it hasn’t happened.”
WILL
“I’m glad you can get sleep because
I think I’ve only had about 4 hours
sleep since..."
ROBERT
“I know... well you know me, I have
quite a lot of sleep, more than I
want sometimes"
Will looks back with yet again another look of disgust.
ROBERT
“Look, I’m sorry, I’m just trying
to keep my head together and get on
with it.”
WILL
“Yea, but that isn’t easy for me, I
caused it! It was my fault.”
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 3.
ROBERT
“Look it wasn’t your fault! You
didn’t mean for it to happen, it
just did! I don’t blame you!
(Whilst gesturing towards a framed
photo) And I’m sure Hollie doesn’t
blame you either.”)
Will’s face drops as he looks towards the photo.
They both look at the photo, which is simply Will, Robert
and Hollie having a good time.
Will’s head dips again
WILL
“Are you sure you don’t blame me?”
ROBERT
“Of course I don’t, you couldn’t
have known it was going to happen.
It just happened! That’s life...”
Will (still with his head down begins to nod)
ROBERT
“Well... Look Will, I’m sorry I
can’t come today, I’ve got to go
upstairs and do some work, you know
how it is, don’t you?”
WILL
“Yea, I know”
Robert finishes off his cereal and then walks to the
doorway, taps Will on the shoulder and walks out the room.
Leaving him on his own feeling sorry for himself whilst
hearing the stomps of Robert going upstairs.
CUT TO
5. EXT - OUTSIDE A FLORIST
We see Will from across the road, exiting a florist with a
bunch of flowers in hand and sauntering up the road.
CUT TO
6. INT - BACKSEAT OF A CAR
Will is inside the backseat of a car, being driven somewhere
by one of his parents. He looks at the bunch of flowers and
smells them. He continues with this miserable blank look and
we hear his thoughts, his thoughts consist of David saying
"its not your fault", then a general banter between him and
his friends talking about going out, then driving around
streets fast (Robert and Hollie), then a screeching crash,
screams, Hollie screaming, Robert shouting and Will saying
"I’m sorry, let me get help, I’m sorry", A policeman
declaring breathalyser test, ambulance sirens and as the
sirens become too much, the car stops.
WILL’S PARENT
"WILL! It’s time to go, we are
here"
WILL
"Sorry...”
Will clambers out of the car and walks away.
CUT TO
7. EXT - GRAVEYARD
Will walks towards the graveyard and the sounds of his
thoughts continues with hospital sounds and Hollie screaming
"It’s all your fault you bastard, I hate you". Will
continues to feel more uncomfortable. Will’s thoughts become
more frantic, as it continues to the sounds of a hospital
machine bleeping and people screaming. Will gets to the
grave and starts to weep!
WILL
"I’m Sorry, I’m Sorry! I’m SORRY!"
As Will’s weeps, a hand touches his shoulder (then the sound
of the hospital machine starts to sustain one tone, a heart
has stopped beating).
Will looks up to find Hollie dressed in all black, she
tries to console him.
Will looks at the grave, revealing it to say "Here lies
Robert Gamble", we hear a doctor declaring Robert Gamble’s
death.
We then see flash backs from the film like the conversation
with Robert fades into him not being there, the photo of the
three friends having a good time disappearing, the letters
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 5.
with Robert Gamble’s name on disappear.
Then we hear the screeching tyres and the alarm. We come
back to scene 1 where Will wakes up in a sweat.
FADE TO BLACK
END
Draft 4
I’ve got to go upstairs and do some work
All rights of this script
belong to Richard Parr.
Tel: *********** (Blanked out for personnel reasons)
Email: gooberparr@hotmail.co.uk
1. INT. WILL’S BEDROOM - MORNING
Will is tucked up in bed; the only light source is the
scrambling of the television. Will lies there for a while,
and then he begins to squirm lightly, as if he feeling
anxious, this continues until there is a blast of noise from
Will’s bedside table alarm clock (striking 6:00 am) and
sounds of tyres screeching. This sound immediately makes
Will sit up in bed violently, panicked and sweaty, with his
eyes wide open.
He looks at the time and turns off the alarm clock, but
whilst doing so he stares at a photo of Him and his
girlfriend Hollie and begins to hold his head in his left
hand whilst slightly stroking the photo with the right,
after a short while he drags himself away from the photo and
out of bed. He turns the television off, turns a light on
and draws the curtains to discover that the sky is still
dark. Will turns away from the curtains and collects a towel
off the floor and walks out of the room.
CUT TO
2. INT. SHOWER - MORNING
Will is washing his hair frantically, in the process he has
a sharp pain in his hand and instinctively washes the soap
suds away to reveal that it is bleeding.
As he finds the cut hand he looks at his arms which are cut and bruised. His
face throughout all this is blank and motionless.
He hears a distant female scream, his blank face starts to frown whilst
his head starts to dip, he stays in this position. Will then
gradually turns the shower off, stands there with a blank
face again, and then gets out of the shower.
CUT TO
3. INT. WILL’S BEDROOM - MORNING
Will walks into the room and starts to get dressed. Will
drops his towel and starts to get dressed into a suit. He
then looks in the mirror to correct his tie, he lifts his
head to see his face, Will sighs and dips his head back
down.
CUT TO
4. INT. STAIRS AND DINING ROOM
Will walks down stairs, and as he reaches the bottom, the
post is delivered, so he picks up the letters and ruffles
through them. They are all addressed to "David Shale". He
continues to walk through into the dining room where his
friend David sits eating cereal.
DAVID
“Are those for me?”
WILL
(Reluctantly)
"Yea..."
DAVID
“Hey, why the attitude? And the
suit?”
Will looks back in disgust and surprise.
David realises the occasion and his face drops into a
sympathetic expression.
DAVID
“Oh... I’m sorry, it hasn’t hit me
yet. I forget what happened and
wake up sometimes believing nothing
has happened.”
WILL
“I’m glad you can get sleep, I
think I have only had about 4 hours
sleep since... well, you know."
DAVID
“I know... well you know me, I have
quite a lot of sleep, more than I
want sometimes" (laughs)
Will looks back with yet again another look of disgust.
DAVID
“Look, I’m sorry, I’m just trying
to keep my head together and get on
with it.”
WILL
“Yea, but that isn’t easy for me, I
caused it! It was my fault.”
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 3.
DAVID
“Look it wasn’t your fault! You
didn’t mean for it to happen, it
just did! I don’t blame you!
(Whilst gesturing towards a framed
photo) And I’m sure Hollie doesn’t
blame you either.”
Will’s face drops as he looks towards the photo.
They both look at the photo, which is simply Will, David and
Hollie having a good time.
Will’s head dips again
WILL
“Are you sure you don’t blame me?”
DAVID
“Of course I don’t, you couldn’t
have known it was going to happen.
It just happened! That’s life...
well or was? You know what I mean.”
Will (still with his head down begins to nod)
DAVID
“Well... Look Will, I’m sorry I
can’t come today, I’ve got to go
upstairs and do some work, you know
how it is, don’t you?”
WILL
“Yea, I know”
David finishes off his cereal and then walks to the doorway,
taps Will on the shoulder and walks out the room. Leaving
him on his own feeling sorry for himself whilst hearing the
stomps of David going upstairs.
CUT TO
5. EXT - OUTSIDE A FLORIST
We see Will from across the road, exiting a florist with a
bunch of flowers in hand and sauntering up the road.
CUT TO
6. INT - BACKSEAT OF A CAR
Will is inside the backseat of a car, being driven somewhere
by one of his parents. He looks at the bunch of flowers and
smells them. He continues with this miserable blank look and
we hear his thoughts, his thoughts consist of David saying
"its not your fault", then a general banter between him and
his friends talking about going out, then driving around
streets fast (David and Hollie), then a screeching crash,
screams, Hollie screaming, David shouting and Will saying
"I’m sorry, let me get help, I’m sorry", A policeman
declaring breathalyser test, ambulance sirens and as the
sirens become too much, the car stops.
WILL’S PARENT
"WILL! It’s time to go, we are
here"
WILL
"Sorry...”
Will clambers out of the car and walks away.
CUT TO
7. EXT - GRAVEYARD
Will walks towards the graveyard and the sounds of his
thoughts continues with hospital sounds and Hollie screaming
"It’s all your fault you bastard, I hate you".
Will continues to feel more uncomfortable. Will’s thoughts become
more frantic, as it continues to the sounds of a hospital
machine bleeping and people screaming. Will gets to the
grave and starts to weep!
WILL
"I’m Sorry, I’m Sorry! I’m SORRY!"
As Will’s weeps, a hand touches his shoulder (then the sound
of the hospital machine starts to sustain one tone, a heart
has stopped beating).
Will looks up to find Hollie dressed in all black, she
tries to console him.
Will looks at the grave, revealing it to say "Here lies
David Shale", we hear a doctor declaring David Shale’s
death.
We then see flash backs from the film like the conversation
with David fades into him not being there, the photo of the
three friends having a good time disappearing, the letters
with David Gales name on disappear.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 5.
Then we hear the screeching tyres and the alarm. We come
back to scene 1 where Will wakes up in a sweat.
FADE TO BLACK
END
All rights of this script
belong to Richard Parr.
Tel: *********** (Blanked out for personnel reasons)
Email: gooberparr@hotmail.co.uk
1. INT. WILL’S BEDROOM - MORNING
Will is tucked up in bed; the only light source is the
scrambling of the television. Will lies there for a while,
and then he begins to squirm lightly, as if he feeling
anxious, this continues until there is a blast of noise from
Will’s bedside table alarm clock (striking 6:00 am) and
sounds of tyres screeching. This sound immediately makes
Will sit up in bed violently, panicked and sweaty, with his
eyes wide open.
He looks at the time and turns off the alarm clock, but
whilst doing so he stares at a photo of Him and his
girlfriend Hollie and begins to hold his head in his left
hand whilst slightly stroking the photo with the right,
after a short while he drags himself away from the photo and
out of bed. He turns the television off, turns a light on
and draws the curtains to discover that the sky is still
dark. Will turns away from the curtains and collects a towel
off the floor and walks out of the room.
CUT TO
2. INT. SHOWER - MORNING
Will is washing his hair frantically, in the process he has
a sharp pain in his hand and instinctively washes the soap
suds away to reveal that it is bleeding.
As he finds the cut hand he looks at his arms which are cut and bruised. His
face throughout all this is blank and motionless.
He hears a distant female scream, his blank face starts to frown whilst
his head starts to dip, he stays in this position. Will then
gradually turns the shower off, stands there with a blank
face again, and then gets out of the shower.
CUT TO
3. INT. WILL’S BEDROOM - MORNING
Will walks into the room and starts to get dressed. Will
drops his towel and starts to get dressed into a suit. He
then looks in the mirror to correct his tie, he lifts his
head to see his face, Will sighs and dips his head back
down.
CUT TO
4. INT. STAIRS AND DINING ROOM
Will walks down stairs, and as he reaches the bottom, the
post is delivered, so he picks up the letters and ruffles
through them. They are all addressed to "David Shale". He
continues to walk through into the dining room where his
friend David sits eating cereal.
DAVID
“Are those for me?”
WILL
(Reluctantly)
"Yea..."
DAVID
“Hey, why the attitude? And the
suit?”
Will looks back in disgust and surprise.
David realises the occasion and his face drops into a
sympathetic expression.
DAVID
“Oh... I’m sorry, it hasn’t hit me
yet. I forget what happened and
wake up sometimes believing nothing
has happened.”
WILL
“I’m glad you can get sleep, I
think I have only had about 4 hours
sleep since... well, you know."
DAVID
“I know... well you know me, I have
quite a lot of sleep, more than I
want sometimes" (laughs)
Will looks back with yet again another look of disgust.
DAVID
“Look, I’m sorry, I’m just trying
to keep my head together and get on
with it.”
WILL
“Yea, but that isn’t easy for me, I
caused it! It was my fault.”
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 3.
DAVID
“Look it wasn’t your fault! You
didn’t mean for it to happen, it
just did! I don’t blame you!
(Whilst gesturing towards a framed
photo) And I’m sure Hollie doesn’t
blame you either.”
Will’s face drops as he looks towards the photo.
They both look at the photo, which is simply Will, David and
Hollie having a good time.
Will’s head dips again
WILL
“Are you sure you don’t blame me?”
DAVID
“Of course I don’t, you couldn’t
have known it was going to happen.
It just happened! That’s life...
well or was? You know what I mean.”
Will (still with his head down begins to nod)
DAVID
“Well... Look Will, I’m sorry I
can’t come today, I’ve got to go
upstairs and do some work, you know
how it is, don’t you?”
WILL
“Yea, I know”
David finishes off his cereal and then walks to the doorway,
taps Will on the shoulder and walks out the room. Leaving
him on his own feeling sorry for himself whilst hearing the
stomps of David going upstairs.
CUT TO
5. EXT - OUTSIDE A FLORIST
We see Will from across the road, exiting a florist with a
bunch of flowers in hand and sauntering up the road.
CUT TO
6. INT - BACKSEAT OF A CAR
Will is inside the backseat of a car, being driven somewhere
by one of his parents. He looks at the bunch of flowers and
smells them. He continues with this miserable blank look and
we hear his thoughts, his thoughts consist of David saying
"its not your fault", then a general banter between him and
his friends talking about going out, then driving around
streets fast (David and Hollie), then a screeching crash,
screams, Hollie screaming, David shouting and Will saying
"I’m sorry, let me get help, I’m sorry", A policeman
declaring breathalyser test, ambulance sirens and as the
sirens become too much, the car stops.
WILL’S PARENT
"WILL! It’s time to go, we are
here"
WILL
"Sorry...”
Will clambers out of the car and walks away.
CUT TO
7. EXT - GRAVEYARD
Will walks towards the graveyard and the sounds of his
thoughts continues with hospital sounds and Hollie screaming
"It’s all your fault you bastard, I hate you".
Will continues to feel more uncomfortable. Will’s thoughts become
more frantic, as it continues to the sounds of a hospital
machine bleeping and people screaming. Will gets to the
grave and starts to weep!
WILL
"I’m Sorry, I’m Sorry! I’m SORRY!"
As Will’s weeps, a hand touches his shoulder (then the sound
of the hospital machine starts to sustain one tone, a heart
has stopped beating).
Will looks up to find Hollie dressed in all black, she
tries to console him.
Will looks at the grave, revealing it to say "Here lies
David Shale", we hear a doctor declaring David Shale’s
death.
We then see flash backs from the film like the conversation
with David fades into him not being there, the photo of the
three friends having a good time disappearing, the letters
with David Gales name on disappear.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 5.
Then we hear the screeching tyres and the alarm. We come
back to scene 1 where Will wakes up in a sweat.
FADE TO BLACK
END
Draft 3
I’ve got to go upstairs and do some work
By Richard Parr
1. Int. Will's bedroom – Morning
Will is tucked up in bed; the only light source is the scrambling of the television. Will lies there for a while, and then he begins to squirm lightly, as if he feeling anxious, this continues until there is a blast of noise from Will's bedside table alarm clock (striking 6:00 am) and sounds of tyres screeching. This sound immediately makes Will sit up in bed violently, panicked and sweaty, with his eyes wide open.
He looks at the time and turns off the alarm clock, but whilst doing so he stares at a photo of Him and his girlfriend Hollie and begins to hold his head in his left hand whilst slightly stroking the photo with the right, after a short while he drags himself away from the photo and out of bed. He turns the television off, turns a light on and draws the curtains to discover that the sky is still dark. Will turns away from the curtains and collects a towel off the floor and walks out of the room.
2. Int. Shower – Morning
Will is washing his hair frantically, in the process he has a sharp pain in his hand and instinctively washes the soap suds away to reveal that it is bleeding. As he finds the cut hand he looks at his arms which are cut and bruised. His face throughout all this is blank and motionless. He hears a distant female scream, his blank face starts to frown whilst his head starts to dip, he stays in this position. Will then gradually turns the shower off, stands there with a blank face again, and then gets out of the shower.
3. Int. Will’s bedroom – Morning
Will walks into the room and starts to get dressed. Will drops his towel and starts to get dressed into a suit. He then looks in the mirror to correct his tie, he lifts his head to see his face, Will sighs and dips his head back down.
4. Int. Stairs and Dining room
Will walks down stairs, and as he reaches the bottom, the post is delivered, so he picks up the letters and ruffles through them. They are all addressed to "David Shale". He continues to walk through into the dining room where his friend David sits eating cereal.
David
“Are those for me?”
Will
(Reluctantly)
"Yea..."
David
“Hey, why the attitude? And the suit?”
Will looks back in disgust and surprise.
David realises the occasion and his face drops into a cautious/sympathetic expression.
David
“Oh... I’m sorry, it hasn’t hit me yet. I forget what happened and wake up sometimes believing nothing has happened.”
Will
“I’m glad you can get sleep, I think I have only had about 4 hours sleep since… well, you know."
David
“I know… well you know me, I have quite a lot of sleep, more than I want sometimes" (laughs)
Will looks back with yet again another look of disgust.
David
“Look, I’m sorry, I’m just trying to keep my head together and get on with it.”
Will
“Yea, but that isn’t easy for me, I caused it! It was my fault.”
David
“Look it wasn’t your fault! You didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did! I don’t blame you! (Whilst gesturing towards a framed photo) And I’m sure Hollie doesn’t blame you either.”
Will's face drops as he looks towards the photo.
They both look at the photo, which is simply Will, David and Hollie having a good time.
Will's head dips again
Will
“Are you sure you don’t blame me?”
David
“Of course I don’t, you couldn’t have known it was going to happen. It just happened! That’s life… well or was? You know what I mean.”
Will (still with his head down begins to nod)
David
“Well... Look Will, I’m sorry I can’t come today, I’ve got to go upstairs and do some work, you know how it is, don't you?”
Will
“Yea, I know”
David finishes off his cereal and then walks to the doorway, taps Will on the shoulder and walks out the room. Leaving him on his own feeling sorry for himself whilst hearing the stomps of David going upstairs.
5. Ext – Outside a florist
We see Will from across the road, exiting a florist with a bunch of flowers in hand and sauntering up the road.
6. Int – Backseat of a car
Will is inside the backseat of a car, being driven somewhere by one of his parents. He looks at the bunch of flowers and smells them. He continues with this miserable blank look and we hear his thoughts, his thoughts consist of David saying "its not your fault", then a general banter between him and his friends talking about going out, then driving around streets fast (David and Hollie), then a screeching crash, screams, Hollie screaming, David shouting and Will saying "I'm sorry, let me get help, I'm sorry", A policeman declaring breathalyser test, ambulance sirens and as the sirens become too much, the car stops.
Will's Parent
"WILL! It’s time to go, we are here"
Will
"Sorry...”
Will clambers out of the car and walks away.
7. Ext – Graveyard
Will walks towards the graveyard and the sounds of his thoughts continues with hospital sounds and Hollie screaming "It's all your fault you bastard, I hate you". Will continues to feel more uncomfortable. Will's thoughts become more frantic, as it continues to the sounds of a hospital machine bleeping and people screaming. Will gets to the grave and starts to weep!
Will
"I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry! I'm SORRY!"
As Will's weeps, a hand touches his shoulder (then the sound of the hospital machine starts to sustain one tone, a heart has stopped beating).
Will looks up to find Hollie dressed in all black, she tries to console him.
Will looks at the grave, revealing it to say "Here lies David Shale", we hear a doctor declaring David Shale's death.
We then see flash backs from the film like the conversation with David fades into him not being there, the photo of the three friends having a good time disappearing, the letters with David Gales name on disappear.
Then we hear the screeching tyres and the alarm. We come back to scene 1 where Will wakes up in a sweat.
Fade to black
End
By Richard Parr
1. Int. Will's bedroom – Morning
Will is tucked up in bed; the only light source is the scrambling of the television. Will lies there for a while, and then he begins to squirm lightly, as if he feeling anxious, this continues until there is a blast of noise from Will's bedside table alarm clock (striking 6:00 am) and sounds of tyres screeching. This sound immediately makes Will sit up in bed violently, panicked and sweaty, with his eyes wide open.
He looks at the time and turns off the alarm clock, but whilst doing so he stares at a photo of Him and his girlfriend Hollie and begins to hold his head in his left hand whilst slightly stroking the photo with the right, after a short while he drags himself away from the photo and out of bed. He turns the television off, turns a light on and draws the curtains to discover that the sky is still dark. Will turns away from the curtains and collects a towel off the floor and walks out of the room.
2. Int. Shower – Morning
Will is washing his hair frantically, in the process he has a sharp pain in his hand and instinctively washes the soap suds away to reveal that it is bleeding. As he finds the cut hand he looks at his arms which are cut and bruised. His face throughout all this is blank and motionless. He hears a distant female scream, his blank face starts to frown whilst his head starts to dip, he stays in this position. Will then gradually turns the shower off, stands there with a blank face again, and then gets out of the shower.
3. Int. Will’s bedroom – Morning
Will walks into the room and starts to get dressed. Will drops his towel and starts to get dressed into a suit. He then looks in the mirror to correct his tie, he lifts his head to see his face, Will sighs and dips his head back down.
4. Int. Stairs and Dining room
Will walks down stairs, and as he reaches the bottom, the post is delivered, so he picks up the letters and ruffles through them. They are all addressed to "David Shale". He continues to walk through into the dining room where his friend David sits eating cereal.
David
“Are those for me?”
Will
(Reluctantly)
"Yea..."
David
“Hey, why the attitude? And the suit?”
Will looks back in disgust and surprise.
David realises the occasion and his face drops into a cautious/sympathetic expression.
David
“Oh... I’m sorry, it hasn’t hit me yet. I forget what happened and wake up sometimes believing nothing has happened.”
Will
“I’m glad you can get sleep, I think I have only had about 4 hours sleep since… well, you know."
David
“I know… well you know me, I have quite a lot of sleep, more than I want sometimes" (laughs)
Will looks back with yet again another look of disgust.
David
“Look, I’m sorry, I’m just trying to keep my head together and get on with it.”
Will
“Yea, but that isn’t easy for me, I caused it! It was my fault.”
David
“Look it wasn’t your fault! You didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did! I don’t blame you! (Whilst gesturing towards a framed photo) And I’m sure Hollie doesn’t blame you either.”
Will's face drops as he looks towards the photo.
They both look at the photo, which is simply Will, David and Hollie having a good time.
Will's head dips again
Will
“Are you sure you don’t blame me?”
David
“Of course I don’t, you couldn’t have known it was going to happen. It just happened! That’s life… well or was? You know what I mean.”
Will (still with his head down begins to nod)
David
“Well... Look Will, I’m sorry I can’t come today, I’ve got to go upstairs and do some work, you know how it is, don't you?”
Will
“Yea, I know”
David finishes off his cereal and then walks to the doorway, taps Will on the shoulder and walks out the room. Leaving him on his own feeling sorry for himself whilst hearing the stomps of David going upstairs.
5. Ext – Outside a florist
We see Will from across the road, exiting a florist with a bunch of flowers in hand and sauntering up the road.
6. Int – Backseat of a car
Will is inside the backseat of a car, being driven somewhere by one of his parents. He looks at the bunch of flowers and smells them. He continues with this miserable blank look and we hear his thoughts, his thoughts consist of David saying "its not your fault", then a general banter between him and his friends talking about going out, then driving around streets fast (David and Hollie), then a screeching crash, screams, Hollie screaming, David shouting and Will saying "I'm sorry, let me get help, I'm sorry", A policeman declaring breathalyser test, ambulance sirens and as the sirens become too much, the car stops.
Will's Parent
"WILL! It’s time to go, we are here"
Will
"Sorry...”
Will clambers out of the car and walks away.
7. Ext – Graveyard
Will walks towards the graveyard and the sounds of his thoughts continues with hospital sounds and Hollie screaming "It's all your fault you bastard, I hate you". Will continues to feel more uncomfortable. Will's thoughts become more frantic, as it continues to the sounds of a hospital machine bleeping and people screaming. Will gets to the grave and starts to weep!
Will
"I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry! I'm SORRY!"
As Will's weeps, a hand touches his shoulder (then the sound of the hospital machine starts to sustain one tone, a heart has stopped beating).
Will looks up to find Hollie dressed in all black, she tries to console him.
Will looks at the grave, revealing it to say "Here lies David Shale", we hear a doctor declaring David Shale's death.
We then see flash backs from the film like the conversation with David fades into him not being there, the photo of the three friends having a good time disappearing, the letters with David Gales name on disappear.
Then we hear the screeching tyres and the alarm. We come back to scene 1 where Will wakes up in a sweat.
Fade to black
End
Draft 2
I’ve got to go upstairs and do some work
By Richard Parr
1. Int. Will's bedroom – Morning
Will is tucked up in bed; the only light source is the scrambling of the television. Will lies there for a while, and then he begins to squirm lightly, as if he feeling anxious, this continues until there is a blast of noise from Will's bedside table alarm clock (striking 6:00 am) and non diegetic sound of tyres screeching. This sound immediately makes will sit up in bed violently, panicked and sweaty, with his eyes wide open.
He looks at the time and turns off the alarm clock, but whilst doing so he stares at a photo of Him and his girlfriend Hollie and begins hold his head in his left hand whilst slightly stroking the photo with the right, after a short while he drags himself away from the photo and out of bed. He turns the television off, turns a light on and draws the curtains to discover that the sky is still dark. Will turns away from the curtains and collects a towel off the floor and walks off screen.
2. Int. Shower – Morning
Will is washing his hair frantically, in the process he has a sharp pain in his hand and instinctively washes the soap suds away to reveal that it is bleeding. As he finds the cut hand he looks at his arms which are cut and bruised. His face throughout all this is blank and motionless. He hears a distant female scream (non diegetic) and his blank face starts to frown whilst his head starts to dip, he stays in this position. Will then gradually turns the shower off, stands there with a blank face again, and then gets out of the shower.
3. Int. Male’s bedroom – Morning
Will walks into the room and starts to get dressed. Will drops his towel and starts with his boxers, then continues to his shirt, trousers, socks, tie, shoes and then finally his suit jacket. After he is fully dressed he looks in the mirror to correct his tie, he lifts his head to see his face, Will sighs and dips his head back down.
4. Int. Stairs and Dining room
We follow the male down stairs, and as he reaches the bottom, the post is delivered, so he picks up the letters and ruffled through them. They are all addressed to "David Shale". He continues to walk through into the dining room where his friend David sits eating cereal.
David
“Are those for me?”
Will
(Reluctantly)
"Yea..."
David
“Hey, why the attitude? And the suit?”
The male looks back in disgust and surprise.
David realises the occasion and his face drops into a cautious/sympathetic expression.
David
“Oh... I’m sorry, it hasn’t hit me yet. I forget what happened and wake up sometimes believing nothing has happened.” (bad sentence!)
Will
“I’m glad you can get sleep, I think I have only had about 4 hours sleep since… well, you know.
David
“I know… well you know me, I have quite a lot of sleep, more than I want sometimes" (laughs)
Male looks back with yet again another look of disgust.
David
“Look, I’m sorry, I’m just trying to keep my head together and get on with it.”
Will
“Yea, but that isn’t easy for me, I caused it! It was my fault.”
David
“Look it wasn’t your fault! You didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did! I don’t blame yourself! (Whilst gesturing towards a framed photo) And I’m sure Hollie doesn’t blame you either.”
Will's face drops as he looks towards the photo.
They both look at the photo, which is simply Will, David and Hollie having a good time.
Will's head dips again
Will
“Are you sure you don’t blame me?”
David
“Of course I don’t, you couldn’t have known it was going to happen. It just happened! That’s life… well or was? You know what I mean.”
Will (still with his head down begins to nod)
David
“Well... Look Will, I’m sorry I can’t come today, I’ve got to go upstairs and do some work, you know how it is, don't you?”
Will
“Yea, I know”
David finishes off his cereal and then walks to the doorway, taps Will on the shoulder and walks out the room. Leaving him on his own feeling sorry for himself whilst hearing the stomps of David going upstairs.
5. Ext – Outside a florist
We see Will from across the road, exiting a florist with a bunch of flowers in hand and he saunters up the road.
6. Int – Backseat of a car
Will is inside the backseat of a car, being driven somewhere by one of his parents. He looks at the bunch of flowers and smells them. He continues with this miserable blank look and we hear his thoughts, his thoughts consist of David saying "its not your fault", then a general banter between him and his friends talking about going out, then driving around streets fast (David and Hollie), then a screeching crash, screams, Hollie screaming, David shouting and Will saying "I'm sorry, let me get help, I'm sorry", A policeman declaring breathalyser test, ambulance sirens and as the sirens become too much, the car stops (with the non diegetic sound)
Will's Parent
"WILL! It’s time to go, we are here"
Will
"Sorry...”
Will clambers out of the car and walks away.
7. Ext – Graveyard
Will walks towards the graveyard and the non diegetic dialogue continues with hospital sounds and Hollie screaming "It's all your fault you bastard, I hate you", male continues to feel more uncomfortable. Sounds become frantic, as it continues to the sounds of a hospital machine bleeping and people screaming. Will gets to the grave and starts to weep!
Will
"I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry! I'm SORRY!"
Will weeps harder.
As Will's scream hits the climax, a hand touches his shoulder (then the sound of the hospital machine starts to sustain one tone 9heart isn't beating)), he looks up to find Hollie dressed in all black, he looks at the grave. We see the grave to say "Here lies David Shale", over this we hear a doctor declaring David Shale's death.
We then see flash backs from the film like the conversation with David fades into him not being there, the photo of the three friends having a good time disappearing, the letters with David Gales name on disappear. At the end of the flash backs we see Will screaming "WHY!" in the graveyard.
Then we hear the screeching tyres and the alarm. We come back to scene 1 where Will wakes up in a sweat.
Fade to black
End
By Richard Parr
1. Int. Will's bedroom – Morning
Will is tucked up in bed; the only light source is the scrambling of the television. Will lies there for a while, and then he begins to squirm lightly, as if he feeling anxious, this continues until there is a blast of noise from Will's bedside table alarm clock (striking 6:00 am) and non diegetic sound of tyres screeching. This sound immediately makes will sit up in bed violently, panicked and sweaty, with his eyes wide open.
He looks at the time and turns off the alarm clock, but whilst doing so he stares at a photo of Him and his girlfriend Hollie and begins hold his head in his left hand whilst slightly stroking the photo with the right, after a short while he drags himself away from the photo and out of bed. He turns the television off, turns a light on and draws the curtains to discover that the sky is still dark. Will turns away from the curtains and collects a towel off the floor and walks off screen.
2. Int. Shower – Morning
Will is washing his hair frantically, in the process he has a sharp pain in his hand and instinctively washes the soap suds away to reveal that it is bleeding. As he finds the cut hand he looks at his arms which are cut and bruised. His face throughout all this is blank and motionless. He hears a distant female scream (non diegetic) and his blank face starts to frown whilst his head starts to dip, he stays in this position. Will then gradually turns the shower off, stands there with a blank face again, and then gets out of the shower.
3. Int. Male’s bedroom – Morning
Will walks into the room and starts to get dressed. Will drops his towel and starts with his boxers, then continues to his shirt, trousers, socks, tie, shoes and then finally his suit jacket. After he is fully dressed he looks in the mirror to correct his tie, he lifts his head to see his face, Will sighs and dips his head back down.
4. Int. Stairs and Dining room
We follow the male down stairs, and as he reaches the bottom, the post is delivered, so he picks up the letters and ruffled through them. They are all addressed to "David Shale". He continues to walk through into the dining room where his friend David sits eating cereal.
David
“Are those for me?”
Will
(Reluctantly)
"Yea..."
David
“Hey, why the attitude? And the suit?”
The male looks back in disgust and surprise.
David realises the occasion and his face drops into a cautious/sympathetic expression.
David
“Oh... I’m sorry, it hasn’t hit me yet. I forget what happened and wake up sometimes believing nothing has happened.” (bad sentence!)
Will
“I’m glad you can get sleep, I think I have only had about 4 hours sleep since… well, you know.
David
“I know… well you know me, I have quite a lot of sleep, more than I want sometimes" (laughs)
Male looks back with yet again another look of disgust.
David
“Look, I’m sorry, I’m just trying to keep my head together and get on with it.”
Will
“Yea, but that isn’t easy for me, I caused it! It was my fault.”
David
“Look it wasn’t your fault! You didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did! I don’t blame yourself! (Whilst gesturing towards a framed photo) And I’m sure Hollie doesn’t blame you either.”
Will's face drops as he looks towards the photo.
They both look at the photo, which is simply Will, David and Hollie having a good time.
Will's head dips again
Will
“Are you sure you don’t blame me?”
David
“Of course I don’t, you couldn’t have known it was going to happen. It just happened! That’s life… well or was? You know what I mean.”
Will (still with his head down begins to nod)
David
“Well... Look Will, I’m sorry I can’t come today, I’ve got to go upstairs and do some work, you know how it is, don't you?”
Will
“Yea, I know”
David finishes off his cereal and then walks to the doorway, taps Will on the shoulder and walks out the room. Leaving him on his own feeling sorry for himself whilst hearing the stomps of David going upstairs.
5. Ext – Outside a florist
We see Will from across the road, exiting a florist with a bunch of flowers in hand and he saunters up the road.
6. Int – Backseat of a car
Will is inside the backseat of a car, being driven somewhere by one of his parents. He looks at the bunch of flowers and smells them. He continues with this miserable blank look and we hear his thoughts, his thoughts consist of David saying "its not your fault", then a general banter between him and his friends talking about going out, then driving around streets fast (David and Hollie), then a screeching crash, screams, Hollie screaming, David shouting and Will saying "I'm sorry, let me get help, I'm sorry", A policeman declaring breathalyser test, ambulance sirens and as the sirens become too much, the car stops (with the non diegetic sound)
Will's Parent
"WILL! It’s time to go, we are here"
Will
"Sorry...”
Will clambers out of the car and walks away.
7. Ext – Graveyard
Will walks towards the graveyard and the non diegetic dialogue continues with hospital sounds and Hollie screaming "It's all your fault you bastard, I hate you", male continues to feel more uncomfortable. Sounds become frantic, as it continues to the sounds of a hospital machine bleeping and people screaming. Will gets to the grave and starts to weep!
Will
"I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry! I'm SORRY!"
Will weeps harder.
As Will's scream hits the climax, a hand touches his shoulder (then the sound of the hospital machine starts to sustain one tone 9heart isn't beating)), he looks up to find Hollie dressed in all black, he looks at the grave. We see the grave to say "Here lies David Shale", over this we hear a doctor declaring David Shale's death.
We then see flash backs from the film like the conversation with David fades into him not being there, the photo of the three friends having a good time disappearing, the letters with David Gales name on disappear. At the end of the flash backs we see Will screaming "WHY!" in the graveyard.
Then we hear the screeching tyres and the alarm. We come back to scene 1 where Will wakes up in a sweat.
Fade to black
End
Draft 1.2
I’ve got to go upstairs and do some work
By Richard Parr
1. Int. Males bedroom – Morning
Close up on the male tucked up in bed, the only light source is the scrambling of the television (cut to television, then back to the male). The camera gradually pans out slowly, exposing a mid shot of the room, which consists of a bedside table with an alarm clock, displaying the time 5:59. As the time hits 6am a blast of an alarm sound and screeching tyres wakes the male quite sharply. He reacts quite drastically, by sitting up straight away in a sweat and with his eyes wide open (slightly panicked)
He looks at the time and turns off the alarm and television. He turns on a light and opens the curtains (still quite dark).He collects a towel off the floor and walks off screen.
2. Int. Shower – Morning
A mid/close up of the male’s upper body. He is washing his hair then we cut to close ups on his wounds then back to him. He hears a distant female scream, he stops, looks around. Puts his head into his hands and stares at the shower tiles, he seems quite depressed.
After about 10 seconds he turns off the shower and moves out of the static mid shot.
3. Int. Male’s bedroom – Morning
The male walks into the room and starts to put on a suit, we see this with close ups such as pulling the trouser from his feet, buttoning of the shirt and tightening of the tie. Once the dressing is complete there’s a cut to a mid shot of him in his funeral suit.
4. Int. Stairs and Dining room
We follow the male down stairs, and as he reaches the bottom, post is delivered, so he picks up the letters, slight cut to a close up of the letters exposing the name of the flat mates name on all of the post. He continues to walk down stairs through to the dining room where his flat mate sits eating cereal.
Flat mate
“Are those for me?”
Male
(Reluctantly)
Yea...
Flat mate
“Hey, why the attitude? And the suit?”
The male looks back in disgust and surprise.
The flat mate realises the occasion and his face drops into a cautious/sympathetic expression.
Flat mate
“O... I’m sorry, it hasn’t hit me yet. I forget what happened and wake up some times believing nothing has happened.”
Male
“I’m glad you can get sleep, I think I have only had about 4 hours sleep since… well you know.
Flat mate
“I know… well you know me, I have quite a lot of sleep, more than I want sometimes (laughs)”
Male looks back with yet again another look of disgust.
Flat mate
“Look, I’m sorry, I’m just trying to keep my head together and get on with it.”
Male
“Yea, but that isn’t easy for me, I caused it! It was my fault.”
Flat mate
“Look it wasn’t your fault! You didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did! I don’t blame you! (Whilst gesturing towards a framed photo) And I’m sure ***** doesn’t blame you too.”
The male’s face drops as he looks towards the photo.
Cut to a close up on a framed picture of the three friends (Male, flat mate and *****) and back to the males face.
Male
“Are you sure you don’t blame me?”
Flat mate
“Of course I don’t, you couldn’t have known it was going to happen. It just happened! That’s life… well or was? You know what I mean.”
The male sadly nods
Flat mate
“Well, I’m sorry I can’t come today, I’ve got to go upstairs and do some work”
Male
“Yea, I know”
Flat mate finishes off his cereal and then walks to the doorway, taps the male on the shoulder and walks out the room. Close up on the male’s deeply saddened face with the sound of footsteps banging up the stairs.
5. Ext – Outside a florist
From across a road or a mid/long shot we see the male exiting with a bunch of flowers or a rose.
6. Int – Backseat of a car
The car is moving and we see the male from a side view and from the front passenger seat(camera position), he has his flowers in hand and looking quite distraught, we hear the a lot of non digetic sound such as a 999 call of a car crash, then a policemen declaring results of a breathalyser test.
As this continues the male becomes more and more uncomfortable.
7. Ext – Graveyard
Male walks towards the graveyard and the non digetic dialogue continues with hospital or police sounds, male continues to feel more uncomfortable. Sounds becomes frantic, as it continues to the sounds of a hospital machine bleeping and people screaming. Then the sound cuts to a big Ben sound like gong (12 notes). As the first gong hits, the other friend named ‘******’ turns up in all funeral clothing beside him, then a non digetic sound of a doctor declaring the time of death for the flat mate. Then a shot of the gravestone (saying the flat mates name), then to a shot of the letters in scene 4 changing into different letters (or none), the flat mate disappearing from the dining table, and then disappearing from the framed photo. Then cut to the male screaming and panicking in the graveyard, then a screech of tyres and alarm. Cut to scene one of male waking up in a sweat (close up on face).
Fade to black
End
By Richard Parr
1. Int. Males bedroom – Morning
Close up on the male tucked up in bed, the only light source is the scrambling of the television (cut to television, then back to the male). The camera gradually pans out slowly, exposing a mid shot of the room, which consists of a bedside table with an alarm clock, displaying the time 5:59. As the time hits 6am a blast of an alarm sound and screeching tyres wakes the male quite sharply. He reacts quite drastically, by sitting up straight away in a sweat and with his eyes wide open (slightly panicked)
He looks at the time and turns off the alarm and television. He turns on a light and opens the curtains (still quite dark).He collects a towel off the floor and walks off screen.
2. Int. Shower – Morning
A mid/close up of the male’s upper body. He is washing his hair then we cut to close ups on his wounds then back to him. He hears a distant female scream, he stops, looks around. Puts his head into his hands and stares at the shower tiles, he seems quite depressed.
After about 10 seconds he turns off the shower and moves out of the static mid shot.
3. Int. Male’s bedroom – Morning
The male walks into the room and starts to put on a suit, we see this with close ups such as pulling the trouser from his feet, buttoning of the shirt and tightening of the tie. Once the dressing is complete there’s a cut to a mid shot of him in his funeral suit.
4. Int. Stairs and Dining room
We follow the male down stairs, and as he reaches the bottom, post is delivered, so he picks up the letters, slight cut to a close up of the letters exposing the name of the flat mates name on all of the post. He continues to walk down stairs through to the dining room where his flat mate sits eating cereal.
Flat mate
“Are those for me?”
Male
(Reluctantly)
Yea...
Flat mate
“Hey, why the attitude? And the suit?”
The male looks back in disgust and surprise.
The flat mate realises the occasion and his face drops into a cautious/sympathetic expression.
Flat mate
“O... I’m sorry, it hasn’t hit me yet. I forget what happened and wake up some times believing nothing has happened.”
Male
“I’m glad you can get sleep, I think I have only had about 4 hours sleep since… well you know.
Flat mate
“I know… well you know me, I have quite a lot of sleep, more than I want sometimes (laughs)”
Male looks back with yet again another look of disgust.
Flat mate
“Look, I’m sorry, I’m just trying to keep my head together and get on with it.”
Male
“Yea, but that isn’t easy for me, I caused it! It was my fault.”
Flat mate
“Look it wasn’t your fault! You didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did! I don’t blame you! (Whilst gesturing towards a framed photo) And I’m sure ***** doesn’t blame you too.”
The male’s face drops as he looks towards the photo.
Cut to a close up on a framed picture of the three friends (Male, flat mate and *****) and back to the males face.
Male
“Are you sure you don’t blame me?”
Flat mate
“Of course I don’t, you couldn’t have known it was going to happen. It just happened! That’s life… well or was? You know what I mean.”
The male sadly nods
Flat mate
“Well, I’m sorry I can’t come today, I’ve got to go upstairs and do some work”
Male
“Yea, I know”
Flat mate finishes off his cereal and then walks to the doorway, taps the male on the shoulder and walks out the room. Close up on the male’s deeply saddened face with the sound of footsteps banging up the stairs.
5. Ext – Outside a florist
From across a road or a mid/long shot we see the male exiting with a bunch of flowers or a rose.
6. Int – Backseat of a car
The car is moving and we see the male from a side view and from the front passenger seat(camera position), he has his flowers in hand and looking quite distraught, we hear the a lot of non digetic sound such as a 999 call of a car crash, then a policemen declaring results of a breathalyser test.
As this continues the male becomes more and more uncomfortable.
7. Ext – Graveyard
Male walks towards the graveyard and the non digetic dialogue continues with hospital or police sounds, male continues to feel more uncomfortable. Sounds becomes frantic, as it continues to the sounds of a hospital machine bleeping and people screaming. Then the sound cuts to a big Ben sound like gong (12 notes). As the first gong hits, the other friend named ‘******’ turns up in all funeral clothing beside him, then a non digetic sound of a doctor declaring the time of death for the flat mate. Then a shot of the gravestone (saying the flat mates name), then to a shot of the letters in scene 4 changing into different letters (or none), the flat mate disappearing from the dining table, and then disappearing from the framed photo. Then cut to the male screaming and panicking in the graveyard, then a screech of tyres and alarm. Cut to scene one of male waking up in a sweat (close up on face).
Fade to black
End
Draft 1.1 (with feedback from Jools)
I’ve got to go upstairs and do some work
By Richard Parr
1. Int. Males bedroom – Morning
Close up on the male tucked up in bed, the only light source is the scrambling of the television (cut to television, then back to the male). The camera gradually pans out slowly, exposing a mid shot of the room, which consists of a bedside table with an alarm clock, displaying the time 5:59.TRY AND WRITE THIS WITHOUT THE CAMERA MOVES IN. IT MAKES FOR A BETETR READ. As the time hits 6am a blast of an alarm sound and screeching tyres wakes the male quite sharply. He reacts quite drastically, by sitting up straight away in a sweat and with his eyes wide open (slightly panicked)
He looks at the time and turns off the alarm and television. He turns on a light and opens the curtains (still quite dark).He collects a towel off the floor and walks off screen.
2. Int. Shower – Morning
A mid/close up of the male’s upper body. He is washing his hair then we cut to close ups on his wounds then back to him. He hears a distant female scream, he stops, looks around. Puts his head into his hands and stares at the shower tiles, he seems quite depressed. HOW DO WE KNOW THIS? WHAT DO WE SEE?
After about 10 seconds he turns off the shower and moves out of the static mid shot. WHAT IS IMPORTANT ABOUT THE 10 SECONDS? CAN THIS BE WRITTEN SO WE FEEL THE EMOTION OF THE MOMENT RATHER THAN SIMPLY TECHNICALLY WHAT US HAPPENING?
3. Int. Male’s bedroom – Morning
The male walks into the room and starts to put on a suit, we see this with close ups CAMERA SHOT? such as pulling the trouser from his feet, buttoning of the shirt and tightening of the tie. Once the dressing is complete there’s a cut to a mid shot of him in his funeral suit. DO WE WANT TO REVEAL THIS MOMENT HERE?
4. Int. Stairs and Dining room
We follow the male down stairs, and as he reaches the bottom, post is delivered, so he picks up the letters, slight cut to a close up of the letters exposing the name of the flat mates name on all of the post. He continues to walk down stairs through to the dining room where his flat mate sits eating cereal.
CAN HE HAVE A NAME THIS MAN? IS HE CALLED THE MALE FOR A REASON? AS OPPOSED TO GIVING HIM A NAME?
Flat mate
“Are those for me?”
Male
(Reluctantly)
Yea...
Flat mate
“Hey, why the attitude? And the suit?”
The male looks back in disgust and surprise.
The flat mate realises the occasion and his face drops into a cautious/sympathetic expression.
Flat mate
“O... I’m sorry, it hasn’t hit me yet. I forget what happened and wake up some times believing nothing has happened.”
Male
“I’m glad you can get sleep, I think I have only had about 4 hours sleep since… well you know.
Flat mate
“I know… well you know me, I have quite a lot of sleep, more than I want sometimes (laughs)”
Male looks back with yet again another look of disgust.
Flat mate
“Look, I’m sorry, I’m just trying to keep my head together and get on with it.”
Male
“Yea, but that isn’t easy for me, I caused it! It was my fault.”
Flat mate
“Look it wasn’t your fault! You didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did! I don’t blame you! (Whilst gesturing towards a framed photo) And I’m sure ***** doesn’t blame you too.”
The male’s face drops as he looks towards the photo.
Cut to a close up on a framed picture of the three friends (Male, flat mate and *****) and back to the males face.
Male
“Are you sure you don’t blame me?”
Flat mate
“Of course I don’t, you couldn’t have known it was going to happen. It just happened! That’s life… well or was? You know what I mean.”
The male sadly nods HOW DOES A PERSON NOD SADLY? DOES A SAD NOD LOOK DIFFERENT TO OTHER TYPES OF NOD?
Flat mate
“Well, I’m sorry I can’t come today, I’ve got to go upstairs and do some work”
Male
“Yea, I know”
Flat mate finishes off his cereal and then walks to the doorway, taps the male on the shoulder and walks out the room. Close up on the male’s deeply saddened face with the sound of footsteps banging up the stairs.
THIS SCENE IS A LITTLE TOO 'ON THE NOSE' IN THAT IT STATES A LITTLE TOO MUCH. WE ARE GOING TO LOOK AT SUBTEXT THIS FRIDAY AND THE POWERPOINT LECTURE PUT ON VLP ASKS YOU TO LOOK AT THIS. THIS SCENE NEEDS TO DO MUCH MORE OF THIS AND LESS STATING WHAT IS HAPPENING DIRECTLY
5. Ext – Outside a florist
From across a road or a mid/long shot we see the male exiting with a bunch of flowers or a rose.
IF WE DONT KNOW ITS A FUNERAL THEN THIS SCENE MIGHT WORK OTHERWISE I'M NOT SURE OF ITS PURPOSE
6. Int – Backseat of a car
The car is moving and we see the male from a side view and from the front passenger seat(camera position), he has his flowers in hand and looking quite distraught, we hear the a lot of non digetic sound such as a 999 call of a car crash, then a policemen declaring results of a breathalyser test.
As this continues the male becomes more and more uncomfortable.
AGAIN THIS SHOULD BE WRITTEN AS WE HEAR IT AND NOT YOU DESCRIBING WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING
7. Ext – Graveyard
Male walks towards the graveyard and the non digetic dialogue continues with hospital or police sounds, male continues to feel more uncomfortable. Sounds becomes frantic, as it continues to the sounds of a hospital machine bleeping and people screaming. Then the sound cuts to a big Ben sound like gong (12 notes). As the first gong hits, the other friend named ‘******’ turns up in all funeral clothing beside him, then a non digetic sound of a doctor declaring the time of death for the flat mate. Then a shot of the gravestone (saying the flat mates name), then to a shot of the letters in scene 4 changing into different letters (or none), the flat mate disappearing from the dining table, and then disappearing from the framed photo. Then cut to the male screaming and panicking in the graveyard, then a screech of tyres and alarm. Cut to scene one of male waking up in a sweat (close up on face).
Fade to black
THINK THE SECOND CHARACTER DOESNT REALLY COME ACROSS. PERHAPS THE SCENE WITH THE FLATMATE COULD BE THIS
End
By Richard Parr
1. Int. Males bedroom – Morning
Close up on the male tucked up in bed, the only light source is the scrambling of the television (cut to television, then back to the male). The camera gradually pans out slowly, exposing a mid shot of the room, which consists of a bedside table with an alarm clock, displaying the time 5:59.TRY AND WRITE THIS WITHOUT THE CAMERA MOVES IN. IT MAKES FOR A BETETR READ. As the time hits 6am a blast of an alarm sound and screeching tyres wakes the male quite sharply. He reacts quite drastically, by sitting up straight away in a sweat and with his eyes wide open (slightly panicked)
He looks at the time and turns off the alarm and television. He turns on a light and opens the curtains (still quite dark).He collects a towel off the floor and walks off screen.
2. Int. Shower – Morning
A mid/close up of the male’s upper body. He is washing his hair then we cut to close ups on his wounds then back to him. He hears a distant female scream, he stops, looks around. Puts his head into his hands and stares at the shower tiles, he seems quite depressed. HOW DO WE KNOW THIS? WHAT DO WE SEE?
After about 10 seconds he turns off the shower and moves out of the static mid shot. WHAT IS IMPORTANT ABOUT THE 10 SECONDS? CAN THIS BE WRITTEN SO WE FEEL THE EMOTION OF THE MOMENT RATHER THAN SIMPLY TECHNICALLY WHAT US HAPPENING?
3. Int. Male’s bedroom – Morning
The male walks into the room and starts to put on a suit, we see this with close ups CAMERA SHOT? such as pulling the trouser from his feet, buttoning of the shirt and tightening of the tie. Once the dressing is complete there’s a cut to a mid shot of him in his funeral suit. DO WE WANT TO REVEAL THIS MOMENT HERE?
4. Int. Stairs and Dining room
We follow the male down stairs, and as he reaches the bottom, post is delivered, so he picks up the letters, slight cut to a close up of the letters exposing the name of the flat mates name on all of the post. He continues to walk down stairs through to the dining room where his flat mate sits eating cereal.
CAN HE HAVE A NAME THIS MAN? IS HE CALLED THE MALE FOR A REASON? AS OPPOSED TO GIVING HIM A NAME?
Flat mate
“Are those for me?”
Male
(Reluctantly)
Yea...
Flat mate
“Hey, why the attitude? And the suit?”
The male looks back in disgust and surprise.
The flat mate realises the occasion and his face drops into a cautious/sympathetic expression.
Flat mate
“O... I’m sorry, it hasn’t hit me yet. I forget what happened and wake up some times believing nothing has happened.”
Male
“I’m glad you can get sleep, I think I have only had about 4 hours sleep since… well you know.
Flat mate
“I know… well you know me, I have quite a lot of sleep, more than I want sometimes (laughs)”
Male looks back with yet again another look of disgust.
Flat mate
“Look, I’m sorry, I’m just trying to keep my head together and get on with it.”
Male
“Yea, but that isn’t easy for me, I caused it! It was my fault.”
Flat mate
“Look it wasn’t your fault! You didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did! I don’t blame you! (Whilst gesturing towards a framed photo) And I’m sure ***** doesn’t blame you too.”
The male’s face drops as he looks towards the photo.
Cut to a close up on a framed picture of the three friends (Male, flat mate and *****) and back to the males face.
Male
“Are you sure you don’t blame me?”
Flat mate
“Of course I don’t, you couldn’t have known it was going to happen. It just happened! That’s life… well or was? You know what I mean.”
The male sadly nods HOW DOES A PERSON NOD SADLY? DOES A SAD NOD LOOK DIFFERENT TO OTHER TYPES OF NOD?
Flat mate
“Well, I’m sorry I can’t come today, I’ve got to go upstairs and do some work”
Male
“Yea, I know”
Flat mate finishes off his cereal and then walks to the doorway, taps the male on the shoulder and walks out the room. Close up on the male’s deeply saddened face with the sound of footsteps banging up the stairs.
THIS SCENE IS A LITTLE TOO 'ON THE NOSE' IN THAT IT STATES A LITTLE TOO MUCH. WE ARE GOING TO LOOK AT SUBTEXT THIS FRIDAY AND THE POWERPOINT LECTURE PUT ON VLP ASKS YOU TO LOOK AT THIS. THIS SCENE NEEDS TO DO MUCH MORE OF THIS AND LESS STATING WHAT IS HAPPENING DIRECTLY
5. Ext – Outside a florist
From across a road or a mid/long shot we see the male exiting with a bunch of flowers or a rose.
IF WE DONT KNOW ITS A FUNERAL THEN THIS SCENE MIGHT WORK OTHERWISE I'M NOT SURE OF ITS PURPOSE
6. Int – Backseat of a car
The car is moving and we see the male from a side view and from the front passenger seat(camera position), he has his flowers in hand and looking quite distraught, we hear the a lot of non digetic sound such as a 999 call of a car crash, then a policemen declaring results of a breathalyser test.
As this continues the male becomes more and more uncomfortable.
AGAIN THIS SHOULD BE WRITTEN AS WE HEAR IT AND NOT YOU DESCRIBING WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING
7. Ext – Graveyard
Male walks towards the graveyard and the non digetic dialogue continues with hospital or police sounds, male continues to feel more uncomfortable. Sounds becomes frantic, as it continues to the sounds of a hospital machine bleeping and people screaming. Then the sound cuts to a big Ben sound like gong (12 notes). As the first gong hits, the other friend named ‘******’ turns up in all funeral clothing beside him, then a non digetic sound of a doctor declaring the time of death for the flat mate. Then a shot of the gravestone (saying the flat mates name), then to a shot of the letters in scene 4 changing into different letters (or none), the flat mate disappearing from the dining table, and then disappearing from the framed photo. Then cut to the male screaming and panicking in the graveyard, then a screech of tyres and alarm. Cut to scene one of male waking up in a sweat (close up on face).
Fade to black
THINK THE SECOND CHARACTER DOESNT REALLY COME ACROSS. PERHAPS THE SCENE WITH THE FLATMATE COULD BE THIS
End
Draft 1.1
I’ve got to go upstairs and do some work
By Richard Parr
1. Int. Males bedroom – Morning
Close up on the male tucked up in bed, the only light source is the scrambling of the television (cut to television, then back to the male). The camera gradually pans out slowly, exposing a mid shot of the room, which consists of a bedside table with an alarm clock, displaying the time 5:59. As the time hits 6am a blast of an alarm sound and screeching tyres wakes the male quite sharply. He reacts quite drastically, by sitting up straight away in a sweat and with his eyes wide open (slightly panicked)
He looks at the time and turns off the alarm and television. He turns on a light and opens the curtains (still quite dark).He collects a towel off the floor and walks off screen.
2. Int. Shower – Morning
A mid/close up of the male’s upper body. He is washing his hair then we cut to close ups on his wounds then back to him. He hears a distant female scream, he stops, looks around. Puts his head into his hands and stares at the shower tiles, he seems quite depressed.
After about 10 seconds he turns off the shower and moves out of the static mid shot.
3. Int. Male’s bedroom – Morning
The male walks into the room and starts to put on a suit, we see this with close ups such as pulling the trouser from his feet, buttoning of the shirt and tightening of the tie. Once the dressing is complete there’s a cut to a mid shot of him in his funeral suit.
4. Int. Stairs and Dining room
We follow the male down stairs, and as he reaches the bottom, post is delivered, so he picks up the letters, slight cut to a close up of the letters exposing the name of the flat mates name on all of the post. He continues to walk down stairs through to the dining room where his flat mate sits eating cereal.
Flat mate
“Are those for me?”
Male
(Reluctantly)
Yea...
Flat mate
“Hey, why the attitude? And the suit?”
The male looks back in disgust and surprise.
The flat mate realises the occasion and his face drops into a cautious/sympathetic expression.
Flat mate
“O... I’m sorry, it hasn’t hit me yet. I forget what happened and wake up some times believing nothing has happened.”
Male
“I’m glad you can get sleep, I think I have only had about 4 hours sleep since… well you know.
Flat mate
“I know… well you know me, I have quite a lot of sleep, more than I want sometimes (laughs)”
Male looks back with yet again another look of disgust.
Flat mate
“Look, I’m sorry, I’m just trying to keep my head together and get on with it.”
Male
“Yea, but that isn’t easy for me, I caused it! It was my fault.”
Flat mate
“Look it wasn’t your fault! You didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did! I don’t blame you! (Whilst gesturing towards a framed photo) And I’m sure ***** doesn’t blame you too.”
The male’s face drops as he looks towards the photo.
Cut to a close up on a framed picture of the three friends (Male, flat mate and *****) and back to the males face.
Male
“Are you sure you don’t blame me?”
Flat mate
“Of course I don’t, you couldn’t have known it was going to happen. It just happened! That’s life… well or was? You know what I mean.”
The male sadly nods
Flat mate
“Well, I’m sorry I can’t come today, I got to go upstairs and do some work”
Male
“Yea, I know”
Flat mate finishes off his cereal and then walks to the doorway, taps the male on the shoulder and walks out the room. Close up on the male’s deeply saddened face with the sound of footsteps banging up the stairs.
5. Ext – Outside a florist
From across a road or a mid/long shot we see the male exiting with a bunch of flowers or a rose.
6. Int – Backseat of a car
The car is moving and we see the male from a side view and from the front passenger seat(camera position), he has his flowers in hand and looking quite distraught, we hear the a lot of non digetic sound such as a 999 call of a car crash, then a policemen declaring results of a breathalyser test.
(put more detail about sound lighting effects?)
As this continues the male becomes more and more uncomfortable.
7. Ext – Graveyard
Male walks towards the graveyard and the non digetic dialogue continues with hospital or police sounds, male continues to feel more uncomfortable. Sounds becomes frantic, as it continues to the sounds of a hospital machine bleeping and people screaming. Then the sound cuts to a big Ben sound like gong (12 notes). As the first gong hits, the other friend named ‘******’ turns up in all funeral clothing beside him, then a non digetic sound of a doctor declaring the time of death for the flat mate. Then a shot of the gravestone (saying the flat mates name), then to a shot of the letters in scene 4 changing into different letters (or none), the flat mate disappearing from the dining table, and then disappearing from the framed photo. Then cut to the male screaming and panicking in the graveyard, then a screech of tyres and alarm. Cut to scene one of male waking up in a sweat (close up on face).
Fade to black
End
By Richard Parr
1. Int. Males bedroom – Morning
Close up on the male tucked up in bed, the only light source is the scrambling of the television (cut to television, then back to the male). The camera gradually pans out slowly, exposing a mid shot of the room, which consists of a bedside table with an alarm clock, displaying the time 5:59. As the time hits 6am a blast of an alarm sound and screeching tyres wakes the male quite sharply. He reacts quite drastically, by sitting up straight away in a sweat and with his eyes wide open (slightly panicked)
He looks at the time and turns off the alarm and television. He turns on a light and opens the curtains (still quite dark).He collects a towel off the floor and walks off screen.
2. Int. Shower – Morning
A mid/close up of the male’s upper body. He is washing his hair then we cut to close ups on his wounds then back to him. He hears a distant female scream, he stops, looks around. Puts his head into his hands and stares at the shower tiles, he seems quite depressed.
After about 10 seconds he turns off the shower and moves out of the static mid shot.
3. Int. Male’s bedroom – Morning
The male walks into the room and starts to put on a suit, we see this with close ups such as pulling the trouser from his feet, buttoning of the shirt and tightening of the tie. Once the dressing is complete there’s a cut to a mid shot of him in his funeral suit.
4. Int. Stairs and Dining room
We follow the male down stairs, and as he reaches the bottom, post is delivered, so he picks up the letters, slight cut to a close up of the letters exposing the name of the flat mates name on all of the post. He continues to walk down stairs through to the dining room where his flat mate sits eating cereal.
Flat mate
“Are those for me?”
Male
(Reluctantly)
Yea...
Flat mate
“Hey, why the attitude? And the suit?”
The male looks back in disgust and surprise.
The flat mate realises the occasion and his face drops into a cautious/sympathetic expression.
Flat mate
“O... I’m sorry, it hasn’t hit me yet. I forget what happened and wake up some times believing nothing has happened.”
Male
“I’m glad you can get sleep, I think I have only had about 4 hours sleep since… well you know.
Flat mate
“I know… well you know me, I have quite a lot of sleep, more than I want sometimes (laughs)”
Male looks back with yet again another look of disgust.
Flat mate
“Look, I’m sorry, I’m just trying to keep my head together and get on with it.”
Male
“Yea, but that isn’t easy for me, I caused it! It was my fault.”
Flat mate
“Look it wasn’t your fault! You didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did! I don’t blame you! (Whilst gesturing towards a framed photo) And I’m sure ***** doesn’t blame you too.”
The male’s face drops as he looks towards the photo.
Cut to a close up on a framed picture of the three friends (Male, flat mate and *****) and back to the males face.
Male
“Are you sure you don’t blame me?”
Flat mate
“Of course I don’t, you couldn’t have known it was going to happen. It just happened! That’s life… well or was? You know what I mean.”
The male sadly nods
Flat mate
“Well, I’m sorry I can’t come today, I got to go upstairs and do some work”
Male
“Yea, I know”
Flat mate finishes off his cereal and then walks to the doorway, taps the male on the shoulder and walks out the room. Close up on the male’s deeply saddened face with the sound of footsteps banging up the stairs.
5. Ext – Outside a florist
From across a road or a mid/long shot we see the male exiting with a bunch of flowers or a rose.
6. Int – Backseat of a car
The car is moving and we see the male from a side view and from the front passenger seat(camera position), he has his flowers in hand and looking quite distraught, we hear the a lot of non digetic sound such as a 999 call of a car crash, then a policemen declaring results of a breathalyser test.
(put more detail about sound lighting effects?)
As this continues the male becomes more and more uncomfortable.
7. Ext – Graveyard
Male walks towards the graveyard and the non digetic dialogue continues with hospital or police sounds, male continues to feel more uncomfortable. Sounds becomes frantic, as it continues to the sounds of a hospital machine bleeping and people screaming. Then the sound cuts to a big Ben sound like gong (12 notes). As the first gong hits, the other friend named ‘******’ turns up in all funeral clothing beside him, then a non digetic sound of a doctor declaring the time of death for the flat mate. Then a shot of the gravestone (saying the flat mates name), then to a shot of the letters in scene 4 changing into different letters (or none), the flat mate disappearing from the dining table, and then disappearing from the framed photo. Then cut to the male screaming and panicking in the graveyard, then a screech of tyres and alarm. Cut to scene one of male waking up in a sweat (close up on face).
Fade to black
End
Draft One
I have wrote my first of my draft:
**************
By Richard Parr
1. Int. Males bedroom – Morning
Close up on the male tucked up in bed, the only light source is the scrambling of the television (cut to tv, then back to the male). The camera gradually pans out slowly, exposing a mid shot of the room, which consists of a bedside table with an alarm clock, displaying the time 5:59. As the time hits 6am a blast of an alarm sound and screeching tyres wakes the male quite sharply. He reacts quite drastically, by sitting up straight away in a sweat and with his eyes wide open (slightly panicked)
He looks at the time and turns off the alarm and television. He turns on a light and opens the curtains (still quite dark).He collects a towel off the floor and walks off screen.
2. Int. Shower – Morning
A mid/close up of the males upper body. He is washing his hair then we cut to close ups on his wounds then back to him. He hears a distant female scream, he stops, looks around. Puts his head into his hands and stares at the shower tiles, he seems quite depressed.
After about 10 seconds he turns off the shower and moves out of the static mid shot.
3. Int. Male’s bedroom – Morning
The male walks into the room and starts to put on a suit , we see this with close ups such as pulling the trouser from his feet, buttoning of the shirt and tightening of the tie. Once the dressing is complete there’s a cut to a mid shot of him in his funeral suit.
4. Int. Stairs and Dining room
We follow the male down stairs, and as he reaches the bottom, post is delivered, so he picks up the letters, slight cut to a close up of the letters exposing the name of the flat mates name on all of the post. He continues to walk down stairs through to the dining room where his flat mate sits eating cereal.
Flat mate
“Are those for me?”
Male
(Reluctantly)
Yea..
Flat mate
“Hey, why the attitude? And the suit?”
The male looks back in disgust and surprise.
The flat mate realises the occasion and his face drops into a cautious/sympathetic expression.
Flat mate
“O.. I’m sorry, it hasn’t hit me yet. I forget what happened and wake up some times believing nothing has happened.”
Male
“I’m glad you can get sleep, I think I have only had about 4 hours sleep since… well you know.
Flat mate
“I know… well you know me, I have quite a lot of sleep, more than I want sometimes (laughs)”
Male looks back with yet again another look of disgust.
Flat mate
“Look, I’m sorry, I’m just trying to keep my head together and get on with it.”
Male
“Yea, but that isn’t easy for me, I caused it! It was my fault.”
Flat mate
“Look it wasn’t your fault! You didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did! I don’t blame you! (whilst gesturing towards a framed photo) And I’m sure ***** doesn’t blame you too.”
The male’s face drops as he looks towards the photo.
Cut to a close up on a framed picture of the three friends (Male, flat mate and *****) and back to the males face.
Male
“Are you sure you don’t blame me?”
Flat mate
“Ofcourse I don’t, you couldn’t of knew it was going to happen. It just happened! That’s life… well or was? You know what I mean.”
The male sadly nods
Flat mate
“Well, I’m sorry I can’t come today, I got to go upstairs and do some work”
Male
“Yea, I know”
Flat mate finishes off his cereal and then walks to the doorway, taps the male on the shoulder and walks out the room. Close up on the males deeply saddened face with the sound of footsteps banging up the stairs.
**************
By Richard Parr
1. Int. Males bedroom – Morning
Close up on the male tucked up in bed, the only light source is the scrambling of the television (cut to tv, then back to the male). The camera gradually pans out slowly, exposing a mid shot of the room, which consists of a bedside table with an alarm clock, displaying the time 5:59. As the time hits 6am a blast of an alarm sound and screeching tyres wakes the male quite sharply. He reacts quite drastically, by sitting up straight away in a sweat and with his eyes wide open (slightly panicked)
He looks at the time and turns off the alarm and television. He turns on a light and opens the curtains (still quite dark).He collects a towel off the floor and walks off screen.
2. Int. Shower – Morning
A mid/close up of the males upper body. He is washing his hair then we cut to close ups on his wounds then back to him. He hears a distant female scream, he stops, looks around. Puts his head into his hands and stares at the shower tiles, he seems quite depressed.
After about 10 seconds he turns off the shower and moves out of the static mid shot.
3. Int. Male’s bedroom – Morning
The male walks into the room and starts to put on a suit , we see this with close ups such as pulling the trouser from his feet, buttoning of the shirt and tightening of the tie. Once the dressing is complete there’s a cut to a mid shot of him in his funeral suit.
4. Int. Stairs and Dining room
We follow the male down stairs, and as he reaches the bottom, post is delivered, so he picks up the letters, slight cut to a close up of the letters exposing the name of the flat mates name on all of the post. He continues to walk down stairs through to the dining room where his flat mate sits eating cereal.
Flat mate
“Are those for me?”
Male
(Reluctantly)
Yea..
Flat mate
“Hey, why the attitude? And the suit?”
The male looks back in disgust and surprise.
The flat mate realises the occasion and his face drops into a cautious/sympathetic expression.
Flat mate
“O.. I’m sorry, it hasn’t hit me yet. I forget what happened and wake up some times believing nothing has happened.”
Male
“I’m glad you can get sleep, I think I have only had about 4 hours sleep since… well you know.
Flat mate
“I know… well you know me, I have quite a lot of sleep, more than I want sometimes (laughs)”
Male looks back with yet again another look of disgust.
Flat mate
“Look, I’m sorry, I’m just trying to keep my head together and get on with it.”
Male
“Yea, but that isn’t easy for me, I caused it! It was my fault.”
Flat mate
“Look it wasn’t your fault! You didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did! I don’t blame you! (whilst gesturing towards a framed photo) And I’m sure ***** doesn’t blame you too.”
The male’s face drops as he looks towards the photo.
Cut to a close up on a framed picture of the three friends (Male, flat mate and *****) and back to the males face.
Male
“Are you sure you don’t blame me?”
Flat mate
“Ofcourse I don’t, you couldn’t of knew it was going to happen. It just happened! That’s life… well or was? You know what I mean.”
The male sadly nods
Flat mate
“Well, I’m sorry I can’t come today, I got to go upstairs and do some work”
Male
“Yea, I know”
Flat mate finishes off his cereal and then walks to the doorway, taps the male on the shoulder and walks out the room. Close up on the males deeply saddened face with the sound of footsteps banging up the stairs.
Troubles with the script
I have been struggling to come up with ideas for a script. So I asked William Barton to help me brainstorm some ideas to work with. It started off with the idea have a 6 minute script on a couple, one of them collapses and we follow the panic of the other person trying to save there partners life. We developed some more ideas, for example a split screen narrative, showing the journey of two characters at the same time (no cuts), this journey would include many strange aspects (we didn't develop this idea as much, as it seemed quite hard to do it all in one shot). I then spoke with Jools and from this conversation came the idea of a young male has had car crash earlier that week and we follow his process getting to the funeral of one of his friends (who was in the car). So I am going to get this idea on paper in the next few hours.
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